How To Get Along With Those You Dislike In The Church

by Pastor Art Kohl
February 10, 2005

1. Ask God’s forgiveness if you have treated that person in an unchristian way.

Matthew 6:14, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses your heavenly Father will also forgive you:”

2. Realize it is not worth loosing everything God has good for you just for the cheap pleasure of disliking someone.

2 John 1:8, “Look to yourselves, that we lose not those things which we have wrought, but that we receive a full reward.” Matthew 18:33-35, “Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.”

3. Realize everything you are doing for God without love is counted as nothing.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 “Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.”

4. Realize you will never do anything greater than love.

1 Corinthians 13:13, “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.”

5. Realize if you only love those who love you, you have no reward.

Matthew 5:46, “For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?”

6. Realize that love is a commandment of God. It is not a choice or option.

John 15:17, “These things I command you, that ye love one another.” 1 John 3:14 “We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death.” James 2:8, “If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well:”

7. Love never fails, endures all things, and is patient. If we fail to love, we have failed it, love hasn’t failed us.

1 Corinthians 13:8, “Charity never faileth ... .”

8. Love is part of a package deal called the fruit of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:22a, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love ...” The filling of the Spirit is more important than praying for love.

9. Abiding in Christ produces the fruit of righteousness. Thus abiding in Christ is more important than praying for love.

John 15:4, 10a, “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love... .” Philippians 1:11, “Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.”

10. Dislike the characteristic of the person not the person.

11. Pray for that person fervently.

James 5:16b, “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”

12. Believe the power of prayer can change character flaws.

Put it in God’s hand not yours, Ephesians 3:20-21 “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.”

13. Learn to say good things about that person to others.

Fail to say bad things, pray about the bad, praise the good.

14. Humble yourself of all envy, pride, and jealousy.

Matthew 23:12 “And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.” James 4:10 “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.” 1 Peter 5:6 “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:”

15. Have a servant’s heart.

Matthew 23:11, “But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.”

16. Do your part to keep the unity of the spirit and the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:3, “Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

17. Realize God is the author of peace.

If peace is absent we have failed in some way to let God work. 1 Corinthians 14:33, “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.”

18. Realize that person might be under much pressure, maybe even greater than yourself.

19. Realize sin is universal.

Do not be surprised when people sin against you. All are sinners. Sinners sin!

20. Do not respond to the person the same way they respond to you.

Matthew 5:39-41 “But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.”

21. Determine God will get the victory in this relationship.

The Lord prayed that we all be one. Have faith that this is what He wants.

22. Realize many Christians have failed, quit, or became castaways because they have failed in interpersonal relationships.

Why not stop right now and pray for that person? Why not do something special for them today? May the strongest person go first!

Copyright © 2005
Permission granted to freely copy.
Scripture verses are from the King James Holy Bible.

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