Pastors who leave churches because of problems,
find the same problems welcoming them on the front porch of their new pastorate.
Pastors who leave churches because of disgruntled
members, will find those same members waiting for them at the door of their
new church.
Pastors who leave churches because of an enemy,
will find that same enemy is a member of the church where they are going.
One cannot run from problems concerning human
relationships. These problems must not be avoided or evaded; they must
be solved. Life is composed of a series of human relationships. Much of
one's success in life depends upon the proper handling of these relationships
and the proper priorities concerning them.
Whether we like it or not, we must relate to people
who are weaker than we are. Whether we like it or not, we must learn to
relate to people who are stronger than we are. Whether we like it or not,
we must learn to relate to our enemies, to the fallen, to the tormentor
and to the tempter. All of these are found in every church, and the members
of every church must learn to face them properly if we are to reach a lost
world.
I have preached all over this great nation. I
have delivered over 45,500 sermons. I have found that God's people are
basically the same everywhere. Every little group of us is a microcosm
of all of us, and each of us must learn to live peaceably with the rest
of us. To that end, I give you this book and my heart.
Chapter 1 Treatment of Those With Whom You Disagree
Romans 12:10, "Be kindly affectioned one to another
with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another."
Ephesians 4:1-3, "I therefore, the prisoner of
the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye
are called, with all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing
one another in love; endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the
bond of peace."
Ephesians 4:30-32, "And grieve not the Holy Spirit
of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness,
and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from
you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving
one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
I Corinthians 6:7, "Now therefore there is utterly
a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not
rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?"
As is said often in this manuscript, the modem
fundamental church is far more intricate than it was in previous generations.
In earlier times church members were together only a few hours a week.
On Sunday morning we met for Sunday school, which was followed by the morning
preaching service. About half of us returned on Sunday night, and a remnant
came to the midweek service on Wednesday evening. Because of this, we did
not know each other real well, and the possibilities of irritation were
few and seldom. We could wear our best behavior for an hour or two. So,
it was easy to like each other.
The modem fundamental church is far more complicated
than that. We are together often and for long periods at a time. For example,
the First Baptist Church of Hammond has many things for our children and
young people. We have our Christian schools where a child can enroll in
kindergarten at the age of 4 and 19 years later graduate from our college
with his master's degree. This means that we are together at school five
days a week for seven or eight hours. Included in the school program are
many extracurricular activities such as sports, cheer leading, pep squads,
shops, class meetings, class parties, field trips, etc. Then the church
provides regular youth activities, camps, choirs, children's clubs and
intramural boys baseball league, Bible studies, prayer groups, teenage
soul winning, high school Bible clubs, etc.
This means that the fundamental church of today
has become its own little community. We are together not only for two or
three hours on Sunday, but we are together every day of the week.
These activities cause multitudes of opportunities
for interaction and provide many different forms of relationships. The
average parent, for example, has regular contact with those who lead his
children. There are many of these such as the principal, the teachers,
the coaches, the choir directors, the youth directors, the Sunday school
teachers, the Bible club leaders, the soul-winning captains and many others.
We no longer simply see each other sitting side by side in the quietness
of a morning service, but we are constantly interacting with church people.
We see each other as we are. We see faults as well as strengths, liabilities
as well as assets, and the minus as well as the plus.
Men, when we go to church, we may share the same
Sunday school class with the parents of the child we teach in school and
with the teacher of our child. We may sit in the same choir with them or
usher side by side with them. We may sit with them in the same Sunday school
class or share the same bus route. We may sit
side by side in one of many other church activities
of the modem fundamental church. All of this means that there are more
chances for disagreement, irritability and even strife. Constant care must
be taken in order to minimize friction caused by disagreements.
1. Do not express disappointments. So much
can be left unsaid. Never use such statements as, "I am disappointed with
you," "I am disappointed in him," or "I wish you had not done that." There
is no law that says that we must comment on everything that is said to
us or that we must critique everything that is done to us. If something
has been done that has disappointed us, it has already been done and there
is no undoing it. There is no need for us to summarize our displeasure.
This is the time to use the art of silence.
2. Do not give your opinions if not asked or
if they are outside your area of authority. There is no law
that requires us to always give an opinion, and it is usually best to keep
our opinions to ourselves unless our advice is requested or unless it is
within our area of authority and responsibility. If someone expresses an
opinion with which we disagree, it is usually best not to voice that disagreement.
An aid to this is the division of responsibilities.
I am a firm believer in delegation and separation of authority. The more
decisions that we share, the more opportunities we create for disagreement.
For example, in a home I think it is wise for the husband and wife to divide
responsibilities, therefore making as few decisions together as possible.
For example, at our house I take care of the finances. That is my responsibility
and my area. For these many years I have given Mrs. Hyles an allowance
every week from whence she buys groceries and incidentals and then has
some left for herself. She spends this money as she chooses. Apart from
that, I am in charge of the rest of the finances. We never have to argue
or fuss about money. She has her area of responsibility and I have mine.
On the other hand, the house, its furnishing and
keeping are her responsibilities. She chooses where the furniture is placed,
and all the decisions concerning the house are hers. If I come in some
night and the sofa is in the entrance hall blocking the door, I will simply
crawl over the sofa and say, "What a novel idea! Not many wives realize
how tired their husbands are and are thoughtful enough to give him a place
to rest as soon as he walks in the door."
Other responsibilities are divided likewise, which
means there is no opportunity to disagree or argue. This is why I advise
young couples not to go grocery shopping together. She may want one brand;
he may want another. If 100 objects are bought together, then there are
100 opportunities for disagreement. I recommend that if young couples do
go grocery shopping together, that one should simply push the cart and
the other make all the decisions. These are just illustrations in suggesting
that we divide responsibilities so as to avoid disagreement opportunities.
This same thing should be applied at church. There
is no need to appoint five people on a flower committee to spend seven
days deciding what flowers are going to be on the communion table on Sunday
morning. Let one person do it and avoid chances for disagreement. There
is no need for a music committee to decide what the choir special will
be on Sunday. Let the music director decide. Delegate responsibility. Give
authority. Divide the decision making processes. There is no need for a
youth committee to plan the youth activity. Let the youth director do it.
Let the Christian school teacher be the school teacher. Let the principal
be the principal. Let the choir director be the choir director. Let the
bus director be the bus director. Let the head usher be the head usher.
Choose qualified, spiritual, amiable people and give them each an area
of responsibility. Of course, there should be veto power at the top, but
this power should be used wisely, carefully and seldom. Of course, it must
be remembered that the responsibility is delegated, but let there be responsibility.
This gives us less opportunity to express unnecessary opinions that could
cause strife and friction.
If the wife asks the husband what he thinks about
her new hairdo, he can sidestep the answer graciously by saying, "You always
look attractive." This policy can be applied to all the areas of our family
and church life and will keep our disagreements from surfacing, and believe
me, most of them do not need to surface!
Of course, the wise person will seek counsel from
others concerning the decisions that he must make within his sphere of
authority, but until such advice is sought, silence is usually the best
course of action.
3. Do not demand your area of authority.There
are some fields and areas in which one might be more qualified than the
person to whom this responsibility has been delegated. Then, there are
some people who will give you advice that is unwanted and that you think
is not needed. In other words, they are not complying with the suggestions
made in the previous point. When such intrusion is made, do not bristle;
do not remind them that they are out of bounds; listen to them patiently
without making rebuttal; thank them kindly for their advice; and then choose
yourself whether or not to use it. Do not let them know who is boss or
remind them of their intrusion. Do not flaunt your title, your power or
your position. Simply realize that the power of decision is in your hands,
and if someone has unwisely used his right to intrude, his intrusion makes
you no less responsible to make the decision. Because of this, there is
no need for rebuttal on your part. Simply listen to the one who is out
of order, thank him for his suggestion and go about your business of making
the right decision within the sphere of your responsibility.
4. Do not start an answer with a negative comment. Such
statements as, "I don't agree," "You're wrong," etc., should never precede
a statement of disagreement. It would be far better to use such statements
as, "What do you think about this additional thought?" "Here is an idea
along the same line," or "Your statement has led me to this thought."
When someone presents an idea with which we do
not agree, negative statements at the first of our reply are like a slap
in the face and can partially or totally close the door of their acceptance
of our idea which is about to be expressed.
5. Allow the other person to have at least
a possibility of being right, or the possibility that he may be partially
right, or the possibility that some of his opinions may be right.Leave
him room to breathe. Leave him with some dignity.
Recently a young lady was expelled from Hyles-Anderson
College. Shortly after this expulsion, I was in her home church preaching
for two days. I asked her father if he and his daughter would have lunch
with me on Tuesday. The young lady was not treated as a criminal. She was
treated with dignity and propriety. Toward the end of the conversation
I told her that there was a possibility that we too had made some mistakes.
I asked her to tell me frankly of any area in our college where she thought
we could improve and where students could be treated with more justice,
propriety and discernment. Though she was reluctant to do so, upon my insistence,
she did. Her suggestions were very helpful, and some of them are being
implemented at this time at Hyles-Anderson College. Our conversation was
a help to me and a help to her. She was a fine young lady who had made
some mistakes and who wanted to correct them. I did her a service by giving
her a chance to help us, and she did us a service by her willingness to
help. I predict that she will return to us and that she will be a cooperative,
obedient and diligent student; and, by the way, she and I will no doubt
be friends for life.
Fundamentalists believe strongly, and this is
good, but in our interaction with each other, we must not always feel that
there is no possibility of our making a mistake. We must remember that
honest disagreement is not always rebellion or anarchy.
6. Do not express your opinion unless you have
the power to help. If someone asks me after a certain course
of action has been taken, "Did I do right?" I do not reply The act has
been committed, and it is too late for advice. I am always happy to give
advice and counsel when asked, but I do not volunteer that advice nor do
I expose my opinion when it can plant a seed that could lead to disagreement
and perhaps strife.
7. Do not express your opinion when you are
aware of the advice that has been given by your peers whom you respect
and with whom you work.
Just the night before the writing of this chapter,
a Hyles-Anderson College student came to my office asking my advice about
a matter. He reminded me that he had already sought advice from Dr. Evans,
the President of Hyles-Anderson College, and then told me quickly the advice
that Dr. Evans had given him. I graciously declined to give him advice
because I did not want to nullify or conflict with the counsel given him
by Dr. Evans, whom I respect tremendously.
This is not to say that the young person should
not have sought advice from more than one, and I would certainly have counseled
with him and advised him had I not known of his previous approach to Dr.
Evans, or if I had not known the nature of Dr. Evans' advice.
8. Ask yourself, "Who probably has the best
chance of being right on this issue?" If the administrative committee
of Hyles-Anderson College is discussing college curriculum concerning history
classes, I would think that Dr. Evans, one of fundamentalism's outstanding
historians, would be eminently more qualified than I. So, if he and I were
to disagree concerning history curriculum, I would probably yield to his
position. If we then turned to the subject of the curriculum of pastoral
theology and had a disagreement, Dr. Evans would no doubt yield to my position.
Such action should also be considered when the parent disagrees with the
teacher concerning a school matter, when the teacher disagrees with the
principal concerning administration, when the member of the church disagrees
with the pastor concerning his preaching and many other areas of the church
program.
I am an opinionated person; most leaders are.
However, I realize that my knowledge of music is very limited. To be sure,
there are boundaries that I build around the music program at First Baptist
Church and that of Hyles-Anderson College, but within those boundaries,
I almost always yield to the wishes and decisions of those in charge of
the music departments. Of course, those who lead these departments are
lovely people and would bow to my wishes on any occasion. I accept the
right to have this authority and to exercise it if I see fit, but the possession
of this right does not necessitate its frequent use. It must be remembered
that we have as much a right not to use our rights as we have to use them.
We should not abuse them by unwise use or an excess of frequency.
9. If someone refutes your opinion, let it
stop there. There is no need for rebuttal. Simply voice your willingness
to consider the opinion that has been expressed and courteously refrain
from expressing yours.
For years I have had a little hobby, that of trying
to improve the disposition of disagreeable people. It is a wonderful little
game that I play, and it is among my favorite hobbies. I was in a southern
city returning a rented car. It was very early in the morning, probably
an hour before sunrise. I went to the counter to return my papers and keys.
I greeted the young lady behind the counter with "Good morning! How are
you today?" She gave no reply; in fact, she didn't even look up. She simply
took the papers and the keys and began her routine immediately I wanted
to help her get in a good mood, so I started my little game of trying to
make her happy Again I said, "Good morning! How are things going today?"
Again there was no reply. Similar further attempts were made to brighten
her day, and all ended in failure. I then leaned over the counter, looked
up at her and said, "Why are you mad at me?"
She grinned and replied, "Mister, it's too early
to be nice!"
I said to her, "Ma'am, it's just as early on this
side of the counter as it is on that side of the counter."
She then began to laugh and thanked me for brightening
her morning. We both went on our way rejoicing.
Several years ago I was in a small city in southern
Louisiana. The dear pastor took me to lunch on Tuesday. He chose a little
downtown restaurant, locally operated and obviously very popular. The waitress
came to take our order. She was a little bit less than kind. (Ah, here
was another splendid chance for me to practice my hobby!) The pastor ordered
first, and then it was my time. I looked up with a smile and said, "I'll
take a Big Mac, French fries and a chocolate shake." (We were not at McDonald's.)
She looked at me sternly, then smiled and said, "Mister, a Big Mac sure
beats anything we have to serve here!" I found that she was angry at her
employer, and as I remember, she had decided to quit her job. When she
replied that a Big Mac was better than their food, all of us laughed. My
mission was accomplished! Well, nearly, for before I left the restaurant,
it was my joy to lead her to Jesus Christ!
I was on an airplane flying to the Greensboro
- High Point Winston-Salem Airport. I sat down beside a gentleman, well,
at least I thought he would be a gentleman. I spoke to him. He did not
reply I spoke again. There was no answer. (Ah, ha! Here is a chance for
me to enjoy my hobby of cheering up a fellow human being.) I proceeded
with such statements and questions as, "Isn't it a nice day?" etc. All
of my attempts to gain a response failed. I then tapped him on the shoulder.
He looked at me and I started using my hands as if I were speaking to him
in the sign language. With a puzzled look on his face he asked, "Fellow,
what are you doing?"
I said, "Sir, I thought perhaps you were deaf
since you had not replied to any of my questions or statements, so I was
trying to communicate in the sign language." He began to laugh immediately,
shook my hand and introduced himself This gave me a chance to witness to
him and to lead him to Christ. (Again, mission accomplished and hobby enjoyed!)
I was flying from Orlando, Florida, to Chicago.
I had a change of planes in Tampa, Florida. Upon landing at the Tampa airport
I found that my next flight would be three hours late. There are few places
in the world more boring for three hours than an airport, so I went to
the restaurant upstairs and was met at the entrance by a young waitress.
She asked if I wanted a booth. I replied, "Yes, ma'am."
She led me to a booth and said, "Is this all right?"
I said, "Yes, ma'am."
She came back in a few minutes and said, "Sir,
are you ready to order?"
I said, "Yes, ma'am."
She took her little order pad, threw it on the
table in front of me, put her hands on her hips, and said in a gruff voice,
"Yes, ma'am! Yes, ma'am! Yes, ma'am! Yes, ma'am! Yes, ma'am! Yes, ma'am!
Yes, ma'am! Yes, ma'am! Don't you know any words, sir, other than 'Yes,
ma'am'?"
I replied, "Yes, ma'am."
She turned and walked away abruptly upon receiving
my order. When she came back she tossed my plate on the table, causing
some of the food to spill. (Hey, here's a chance to do my hobby, but believe
me, this one was a real challenge!) When she returned to give me my ticket,
she turned her back, faced the other way and wrote my check. She then handed
it behind her back to me and walked away angrily. I had had a light lunch;
in fact, my ticket was only $1.67. As I left, I placed a $5 bill on the
table and slowly walked toward the cash register. While I was paying my
bill of $1.67, the little waitress came walking up and said abruptly, "Mister,
you dropped some money on the table as you left," and handed me the $5
bill. I returned it to her saying, "Don't they tip in Tampa?" She broke!
Tears filled her eyes and she asked, "Mister, did you leave me a $5 tip
after I've been so rude to you?"
I said to her, "Young lady, you're not a bad person.
You have a heartache. There is a reason why you were unkind to me, and
I do not feel in any way negative about you." She continued to cry in that
busy little restaurant filled with people, and she told me a sad story.
Her husband had left her a few days before. She had had to get a job and
the salary was not large enough to care for the children that he had left
with her. She told me that she didn't want to live! Standing there in the
busy restaurant, right at the entrance, I led her to Jesus Christ. Then
she apologized for having been rude to me. (Praise the Lord! Mission accomplished!
Mission more than accomplished; what a nice hobby!) A couple of hours later
I was walking toward my airplane, and whom did I meet but this little waitress!
I smiled and said, "Are you still saved?"
She shyly responded, through an impish grin, "Yes,
ma'am!"
For years I have been trading at a little convenience,
drive-in market called The White Hen Pantry. It is located just a few blocks
from where I live, and it is convenient for me to stop by every morning
on the way to work to purchase a USA TODAY newspaper, and occasionally
I will make other purchases. One day an older lady who often waited on
me there asked me, "What's wrong with you today?"
I replied, "Nothing. Why do you ask?"
She said, "This is the first time that you have
ever been in here through these years without whistling or singing. There
must be something wrong." She seemed a little sad and nearly out-of-sorts.
(I immediately saw another opportunity to use my hobby) I told her that
nothing was wrong.
She said, "Then why do you always sing and whistle?"
I said, "Because I am happy."
She said, "In this old sick world, how can you
be happy?" I looked around and saw that there were no other customers there.
This in itself was a miracle. I think the Lord dispatched an angel out
in the street, telling folks to drive on by for awhile. For some time no
one came in the store, giving me a chance to tell her why I am happy and
to share with her that happiness. In a few moments she received the Author
of that happiness as her Saviour. (Once again mission accomplished! Hobby
enjoyed!)
Several years passed. One day I was requested
to go visit a man who was very ill. He had asked for me. When I got to
the house he told me why he wanted to see me. The lady whom I had won to
Christ at The White Hen Pantry was his wife. I did not know it, but she
had passed away not long before my visit with him, and he wanted to thank
me for being so nice to his wife and to tell me how much she loved and
appreciated me. I sat there with him on a Sunday afternoon and won him
to Christ. Ah, hobbies have bonuses, don't they?
The Christian should always be working toward
harmony Needless disagreements should be circumvented and avoided if at
all possible. Most of our disagreements are so useless and needless, and
so in our fundamental churches where we are so interwoven and have so much
interaction, we need to be on constant guard to prevent them.
I love good music. Nearly every day of my life
I take time to listen to classical music. I do not allow this kind of music
to be used in our church because I believe that church music should be
limited to hymns and Gospel songs, but in my personal life I often drive
or eat with the classics as background music. The reason I love good
music is because good music is harmony of sound,
and I want to dwell in harmony, which leads me to choose sound that is
harmonious. This is one reason (among many) that rock music is wrong. It
is sound with disharmony.
I love good literature, especially good poetry.
I read it regularly and I write it often. Poetry is harmony of words and
meter. Bad literature is words with disharmony. Good literature promotes
harmony and is harmony.
I love good art; in fact, I often visit art galleries.
I do this because good art is harmony of colors. Modem art, which often
looks like someone has taken a canvas, squirted ketchup on it, thrown three
raw eggs at it and stirred them with a touch of mustard, framed it and
called it art, this is disharmony of color, whereas good art is harmony
of color.
My favorite subject in school was algebra, because
in algebra the balancing of the equation is the bringing of harmony. Here
we have a harmony of numbers. Basically harmony is balancing life's equations.
I was staying in a hotel in Milford, Ohio. My
room was on the fifth floor. As I got off the elevator, I was facing a
wall. On that wall was a painting. That painting was crooked. I can't stand
a crooked painting, so I straightened it. I went to my room, unpacked my
bags and decided to go to the restaurant for a bowl of soup. While I was
waiting for the elevator, I turned and looked at the painting. It was crooked
again. I straightened it. I went down to the restaurant, ate a bowl of
soup, came back up to the fifth floor. As I got off the elevator, I noticed
the painting was crooked again. I straightened it. I went to my room, washed,
brushed my teeth, got my Bible, went to the lobby where I was to be met
and driven to the services. As I was waiting for the elevator, I noticed
the painting was crooked again. I straightened it. I went to the church,
preached, and was driven back to the hotel. When I got off the elevator,
I noticed the painting was crooked again. I straightened it. I went to
my room, went to bed, but I couldn't sleep. All I could think about was,
"Is that painting crooked again?" I got out of bed, put on my pants and
shirt over my pajamas, walked down the hallway to see if the painting was
crooked or straight. It was crooked. I got on the elevator and went downstairs,
walked to the desk and asked the night clerk if she had someone who could
come up and straighten the painting on the fifth floor. She said that the
maintenance men were all off for the evening and that there was no one
who could do it. I asked her if she had a hammer and nails. She said she
did. I said, "Would you let me borrow them so I can straighten that painting
permanently?"
She said, "Sir, why do you want that painting
straight?"
"Because I can't sleep!" I said.
She smiled and gave me a hammer and a nail. I
went upstairs, straightened the painting, returned the hammer, returned
to my room and got a good night's sleep. All was harmonious again.
I cannot stand needless disharmony Complaining
affects me like a shovel being scraped against concrete. I try not to practice
it, and I try not to be around people who do. It promotes disharmony and
an unbalanced equation.
This is the reason that I do not go out to eat
after services. I cannot be around the criticism of God's people by God's
people. I simply refuse to listen to negatives. I do not want this computer
on top of my shoulders called a mind to be programmed with negatives. I
have people who need me to lift them, to comfort them, to proclaim victory
to them, and I cannot do it if I live amidst talk that is not harmonious
and if I program my computer with negatives.
A fundamental church should be a refuge, a haven,
a pavilion, a shelter from the irritability of our critique infested society.
If, in fact, a church is exactly this, its members must learn to live with
their disagreements which, because we are human, will exist. If because
we are Christians we can refrain from expressing disappointment of people;
refrain from giving opinions that are not requested; refrain from fighting
for our rights and our areas of authority; refrain from negative statements
such as, "I don't agree!" or "You're wrong on that!" and allow each other
to have the possibility of being at least partially right; refrain from
expressing
our opinions unless they will help; ask ourselves,
"Who probably has the best chance of being right here?" and refrain from
responding when our opinion is refuted, we will have made at least some
progress toward harmony and peace!
Don't forget our little hobby, that delightful
little game of balancing human equations and promoting harmony between
ourselves and those whom the will of God has brought close to us often
on a daily basis and with whom the Holy Spirit has led us to interact.
May that same Holy Spirit lead us to interact in such a way so as to treat
properly and with grace those with whom we disagree.
Chapter 2 Treatment of the Fallen
Galatians 6:1, "Brethren, if a man be overtaken
in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of
meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted."
Galatians 5:19-24, "Now the works of the flesh
are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions,
heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of
the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that
they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the
fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness,
faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that
are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts."
In order to fully understand Galatians 6:1, one
must connect it with Galatians 5:19-24. The one overtaken in a fault in
Galatians 6:1 is no doubt one overtaken in one of the faults mentioned
in Galatians 5:19-21. The one who is spiritual in Galatians 6:1 is the
one who possesses the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22, 23. In other
words, when the one who has the fruit of the Spirit overtakes one who has
the works of the flesh in committing one of these works, he receives instructions
in Galatians 6:1 as to what he is to do. Care must be taken that one who
commits some of the works of the flesh does not take it upon himself to
correct one who commits others of the works of the flesh. In other words,
the one who is guilty of wrath is not qualified to lift the one who is
guilty of fornication. One who is guilty of strife is not qualified to
lift the one who is guilty of lasciviousness. In such a case the blind
leads the blind, the fallen lifts the fallen, and the flesh attempts to
make the flesh spiritual, which, of course, is impossible.
We must be careful, therefore, to address Galatians
6:1 only to the spiritual, to those who walk according to the fruit of
the Spirit, as listed in Galatians 5:22, 23, and do not walk according
to any of the works of the flesh as listed in Galatians 5:19-21.
1. The word, "overtaken, "implies a witness.When
someone who is spiritual witnesses the fleshly acts of someone who walks
according to the flesh, he then may attempt to restore the fallen one.
This verse does not say, "If one who is spiritual hears about someone being
overtaken in a fault, he is to restore him." It does not say, "If one who
is spiritual suspicions that a brother has been overtaken in a fault, he
is to restore him." It is very plain that before the guilt is assumed,
it must be proved. Before one is assumed guilty, he must be "overtaken"
in a fault.
2. The word, "fault," would include any of
the works of the flesh mentioned in Galatians 5:19-21.
3. The word, "spiritual," is one who embraces
all of Galatians 5:22 and 23.
4. The word, "restore," means "to give back." It
is the same word used concerning Zacchaeus, who, when he was converted,
restored fourfold to all of those against whom he had sinned. The word
means to bring one back where he was. This does not mean that a person
who is fallen is still qualified to do everything that he used to do without
a time of proving and testing. It DOES mean, however, that the one who
is fallen should be brought back where he was as far as his relationship
with the brethren are concerned. He should be accepted with the same open
arms as before, with the same love as before, with the same compassion
as before, with the same tenderness as before, with the same grace as before,
with the same mercy as before and with the same fellowship as before.
5. The word, "meekness," is a very interesting
word. It implies an evenness. It is often used concerning objects which
are the same all the way through, such as homogenized milk in contrast
to milk where the cream rises to the top. When the Lord Jesus said, "Blessed
are the meek," He was saying in a sense, "Blessed are the equal ones,"
or "Blessed are the ones who look up to no one and down to no one," but
"Blessed are the ones who look with a level eye to everyone." "Blessed
are the ones who think themselves no worse than anyone and no better than
anyone."
The story is told about a Baptist church in Washington,
D.C. Many years ago Chief Justice Charles Evans Hughes, it is said, joined
this particular Baptist church. Many others joined this particular Baptist
church that same morning. As the names were read, Chief Justice Hughes
was on one end of the line and a poor young man from a minority race was
on the other end of the line. Of course, the pastor started off with the
name of Chief Justice Hughes, when immediately Mr. Hughes interrupted the
pastor and said, "Pastor, start at the other end of the line. The ground
is level at the foot of the cross!" This is what our Lord is saying in
Galatians 6:1. He is reminding us that we are to look down on no one, and
even as we restore a fallen one, we are not to feel or act in a superior
way. We are no better than he.
Neath the light of a kerosene lamp, beside the
heat of a wood stove, with windows stuffed with newspapers to stop the
howling wind from entering, with an outhouse in the backyard and a well
off the back porch, my little mother used to point to me with a povertystricken
finger and say, "Son, you are better than nobody, and you are as good as
anybody! Look down to none; look up to none! Look everybody square in the
eye! We don't wear the clothes that others wear, and we can't afford the
house that others can afford, and we can't drive a car like others drive,
but you are as good as anybody But son, never let theday come when you
feel that you are better than anybody!" This is what God is telling us
here. The restorer is not to look down on the restored.
6. The word, "considering," means "watching."This
means watching yourself, not watching the restored one! We must realize
the possibility of the restorer entering into the same sin that was committed
by the restored, and one of the easiest ways to commit such a sin is to
keep our eyes on the sinner rather than on the Saviour, and to be watching
the life of the restored one rather than our own.
We are reminded by the Apostle that all of us
are capable of committing the sins of the rest of us, and that there is
no temptation given to one of us that is not given to all of us. I Corinthians
10: 13, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man:
but God is faithful, Who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye
are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that
ye may be able to bear it." God is telling us in Galatians 6:1 that one
of the main reasons we are to look everybody square in the eye as equals
and look down on none is that if we do feel superior to the restored, we
may ourselves be tempted by the same temptation he faced and enter into
the same sin that he committed.
7. The words, "also be tempted," are noteworthy.This
takes us back to Galatians 5:19-21. God is telling us here that those of
us who live in the Spirit as in Galatians 5:22 and 23 possess the potential
of committing any or all of the works of the flesh in Galatians 5:19-21.
8. The word, "bear," in Galatians 6:2 implies
that we are to bear the guilt of the fallen and restored one. Then
the word "burdens" in Galatians 6:2 teaches us that we are to enter into
the yoke with them and to pull with them in order to help them to win the
victory and gain strength. God is telling us here that when one sins, all
have sinned. It would be a wonderful day for churches when every member
takes the blame for the sin of one and realizes that the sin of one is
really the sin of all.
When Achan took the forbidden gold, silver and
garment from Jericho, God said, "Israel hath sinned." Oh, yes, Achan actually
committed the sin, but all of Israel had a part in it. It will be a wonderful
day in our churches when, if a young person goes into sin, the Pastor will
say, "I have sinned." The Sunday school teacher will say, "I have sinned."
The departmental superintendent will say, "I have sinned." The youth director
will say, "I have sinned." The director of the youth choir will say, "I
have sinned." The teacher in the Christian school will say, "I have sinned."
The coach will say, "I have sinned." The parents will say, "I have sinned."
The teaching is very plain. An individual's sin is a corporate sin, for
had we not failed in some way, the fallen would not have failed. Since
we all have sinned when one has fallen, then we all should bear his burden,
as in Galatians 6:2, "Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the
law of Christ." We all should lift him up. We all should accept him back.
We all should love him. Since the sin was a corporate one, then the work
of restoration should be a corporate one, and the grace of restoration
should be a corporate grace.
9. The words in Galatians 6:2, "fulfil the
law of Christ," can be accomplished and completed only when we have restored
the fallen, have realized that we too have fallen in him, and we all have
joined in the act of restoration and in the grace of forgiveness.
Now what is this law of Christ? I think it deals
with I John 2:1, "My little children, these things write I unto you, that
ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus
Christ the righteous." What a beautiful passage! It is addressed to little
children, perhaps babes in Christ, those to whom it would be easy to fall.
The first admonition is that they sin not. God hates sin, and God does
not want us to sin.
Then He immediately tells us what His law of behavior
is when we do sin. He does not say, "If any man sin, he loses his salvation."
He does not say, "If any man sin, he is the object of God's disgust." He
says, "If any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father." Notice the
first person plural, "we." The Apostle was including himself as a sinner
and as potentially in need of the reclamation mentioned in the following
words of the verse.
Now notice the word, "advocate." This is the word,
"paraclete," which is translated "comforter" elsewhere in the Scripture.
It means "someone to run to another's side." God is saying here that He
does not want us to sin, but that if we do sin, we have someone to run
to our side, and who is that someone? Praise the Lord, it is Jesus Christ
the righteous! When a Christian falls, Jesus runs to his side to pick him
up.
When I was a little boy, nearly all the streets
we lived on were dirt or gravel roads. I would often run to Mother and
ask if I could go across the street and play with a friend. She would say,
"Why, of course, son, but be careful crossing the street. Stop before you
cross, look both ways, and don't run! You may fall on the gravel." I assured
her that I would obey, but as I got closer to the street, my little boyfriend
would scream and say, "Hurry up, Jack! Hurry!" so I would run across the
street, lose my footing in the gravel, fall, and skin my little knee. My
mother would immediately come running to my side. She was disappointed
in me, but she did not spank me. She took me back into the house, wiped
off my knee and cleaned me up, put some medicine on the knee and perhaps
a bandage. I said, "Mommy, can I still go across the street and play?"
She said, "Yes, you may, but son, I am telling
you again: Don't disobey Mother and run. If you do disobey Mother, I'm
going to have to bring you in the house and make you sit beside me while
I iron so I can keep my eyes on you." I would go to the yard and start
for the street. Then I would get excited again and rush across the street,
only to fall the second time. Mother would rush to my side the second time
and repeat the care. She would lift me up, take me into the house, wash
me off, care for whatever scratch or cut I may have and then she would
say, "Son, now if you run across that street this time, I'm not going to
let you go across the street to play. You will have to come in and sit
beside me while I iron so I can keep my eyes on you." I promised that I
would walk across the street, but I forgot the promise, and in the excitement
of getting to my little friend, I stumbled and fell again. Mother ran to
my side, picked me up and very kindly took me into the house and sat me
on a chair beside the ironing board so she could keep her eyes on me.
This is exactly what our blessed Saviour does.
When we fall, He runs to our side to pick us up. He takes care of our wounds
and reminds us not to sin again. When we sin again, He runs to our side
to pick us up and takes care of our wounds and once again reminds us not
to sin. When we keep on sinning, He finally says, "Okay, I can't let you
stay down there any more. I must bring you up to Heaven so I can keep My
eyes on you." This He does. He is taking us to Heaven, which is basically
called "the sin unto death," and is not an act of wrath or violence; it
is another act of love. He does not want us to continue in sin, so in His
mercy He brings us to Heaven so we can be with Him, and He can keep His
eye on us.
This is what I think God means when He tells us
to bear one another's burdens and so fulfil the law of Christ. When a brother
falls, we are to join Jesus in running to him. In fact, in some cases,
we are to be Jesus running to him, for as much as we have done it unto
one of the least of these His brethren, we have done it unto Him.
Far too many of us would translate this Scripture
in Galatians 6: 1, "If a brother be overtaken in a fault, criticize him,"
or "If a brother be overtaken in a fault, slander him," or "If a brother
be overtaken in a fault, try to ruin him," or "If a brother be overtaken
in a fault, try to destroy him. " In far too many cases, this is our manner
of treatment to the fallen. Thank God, it is not His manner and it is not
His desire for us to treat them in such a way.
Mark 16:7, "But go your way, tell His disciples
and Peter that He goeth before you into Galilee: there shall ye see Him,
as He said unto you." Notice the two words, "and Peter." What a blessed
statement! The ladies have come to the tomb. They find the stone rolled
away and a man dressed in white at the sepulchre. He is a messenger from
God, and what is that message? "Go tell the disciples and Peter that Jesus
is risen. " Why did he single out Peter? We know why At our Lord's crucifixion,
Peter had joined himself with the wrong crowd. He had warmed himself by
the Devil's fire, had walked afar off, and had denied the faith, the church
and his Lord. He had even cursed. He was a fallen saint, not fallen from
grace, but fallen in grace. Nevertheless, he was fallen. How sweet it is
and how tender it is that God's messenger brought God's message that the
ladies go and announce the resurrection of Christ to the disciples "and
Peter." God was reminding us that He has a special love for the fallen.
God loves all of us, but He has a special unique love for some. He says,
"Go tell the disciples and the burdened," "Go tell the disciples and the
lonely," "Go tell the disciples and the fallen."
I do not know all that is behind these two little
words, "and Peter." Perhaps if he had not said "and Peter," they would
not have told Peter, because perhaps they would not have thought of him
as still being a disciple, or maybe God wanted Peter to know in a special
way that He still loved him and that Peter still belonged to Him.
These two little words not only show His love
for the fallen, but they show His care for the fallen and for each individual.
God is saying, "Peter, the Christians may not care any more, but I do!"
"The Christians may not be concerned about your restoration, but I am."
"The Christians may have given up on you, but I haven't." So He gives the
message to the angel to give: "Tell His disciples and Peter. "
There is something else that God is saying with
these two precious words, "and Peter." He is letting Peter know of His
forgiveness. Can you imagine Peter getting the message that God had sent
to him a special word? God was saying to Peter, "You are forgiven. I want
you where you were. I love you as I loved you before. I need you as I needed
you before. I care as much as I ever cared, and Peter, you are forgiven!"
At this moment this author is that messenger.
He says to that person who has fallen whose eyes are scanning these pages:
God said, "Go tell the disciples and you. " And he says to the members
of the church who have not fallen, "When you tell the good news, tell the
fallen too. Include the fallen!"
Then God is also reminding us of His awareness.
He was saying to Peter, "I know you are there. You may think you have gone
so far that I cannot see you, but you haven't! I know your address! I know
where you live! I know where you work! I know your motives! I am aware
of you, Peter, and you won't get beyond that awareness!"
How beautiful! How wonderfully sweet that God
sent His messenger to tell of His resurrection, and to send the ladies
to tell the disciples . . . and Peter!
May God help His churches to love the fallen,
to pray for the fallen, to run to the fallen, to lift up the fallen, to
welcome the fallen, to strengthen the fallen, to carry the burden of the
fallen, to share the guilt of the fallen and, by God's grace, to reclaim
and restore the fallen!
Chapter 3 Treatment of the Weak
Romans 14:1, "Him that is weak in the faith receive
ye, but not to doubtful disputations."
The word, "weak," in this passage means "without
power" or "little power."
I have often said that there are four groups of
people in the First Baptist Church of Hammond. Group # 1 is composed of
those who accept what the preacher says because the preacher says it. Group
#2 is composed of those who believe what the preacher says and accept it
because they already believed it. Somewhere else they were grounded in
the faith, and then to their surprise they found someone who agreed with
them years after they thought such preachers were extinct. Group #3 is
that group of people who listen to what the preacher says, consider the
pros and cons and decide whether or not to accept it. Group #4 is that
group of people in the church who believe nothing the preacher says, but
they love to hear him say it. Now it matters not whether these four groups
comprise the membership of a local church, but one thing is for sure: There
are different degrees of strength among our church members! Some church
members are strong. Some have fallen, some are heartbroken, and, yes, some
are weak. The Bible does not leave us in wonder about the treatment of
these weak ones.
Notice again Romans 14:1, "Him that is weak in
the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations." Notice especially
the words, "in the faith." These are saved people about whom the Apostle
is speaking. Yet, they are weak Christians.
1. We are to receive them. Notice
the words, "receive ye." God is telling us to receive the weak in the faith.
This means that we are to welcome them. We are to have special interest
in them. We are not to remind them of their weakness, but we are to accept
them as brothers in Christ and make them feel as one of us, for, of a fact,
they are.
2. We are not to receive them to "doubtful
disputations." We are not to engage in arguments with them about
our differences. This is what preaching is for! This is what Bible teaching
is for!
This is explained in Romans 14:2 and 3, "For one
believeth that he may eat all things: another, who is weak, eateth herbs.
Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which
eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him." Here we have
one Christian who eats meats and another who is a vegetarian. They are
not to engage in doubtful disputations.
We find another example in verses 5 and 6, "One
man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike.
Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. He that regardeth the
day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to
the Lord he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for
he giveth God thanks: and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not,
and giveth God thanks." One Christian observes a certain day; another Christian
does not. They are not to engage in doubtful disputations concerning this.
One Christian observes Easter as a holy day. Another strong Christian who
knows the Bible knows that Easter is not a holy day. Colossians 2:14-17,
"Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which
was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to His cross;
and having spoiled principalities and powers, He made a shew of them openly,
triumphing over them in it. Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or
in drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath
days: which are a shadow of things to come; but the body is of Christ."
God is telling us that we should not get with the weaker brother and argue
with him about such matters.
I preach all over America. Nearly every week I
am with someone who would disagree with me on some matter that could be
called a doubtful disputation. For example, I do not believe a church choir
should wear robes. I go to many churches whose choirs are robed. I do not
engage in doubtful disputations with the pastor concerning this matter.
I go to churches whose music is different from
ours. It is not sinful music; it is just not what we prefer here at First
Baptist Church. I do not engage in doubtful disputations concerning this
matter.
3. We are to withdraw ourselves from every
weak brother who has a disorderly walk. II Thessalonians 3:6,
"Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that
ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and
not after the tradition which he received of us." This does not mean that
we are to be unkind to anyone. The Bible is very plain concerning our grace
and kindness to all, but it is also very plain concerning the fact that
we are not to engage in social life or in regular fellowship with some
Christians. I do not believe for a second that this is talking about church
membership. I do not believe it is talking about the weak person or the
disorderly person not being welcome in the church services. I think God
is telling the individual Christians to watch the crowd with whom they
run and to associate with strong Christians. The word "withdraw" means
to "bend away." Though we are to be nice to people who walk disorderly,
we are certainly not supposed to run with their crowd.
The word "disorderly" here is a military term
which means "out of step" or "out of rank." Of course, in the light of
all Scripture we are to be gracious and kind, forbearing and patient with
these weak ones, but we should not walk with them, spend long seasons of
time with them, unless, of course, we are helping them to become stronger
by teaching them the Word or explaining to them the Christian life.
This is explained again in II Thessalonians 3:14,
"And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have
no company with him, that he may be ashamed." Note the words, "have no
company with him." This means we are not to mingle with them. Sure, we
see them at church. We shake their hands. We welcome them. We try to strengthen
them, but we do not enter into social activities with them. Often Christians
attempt to do so in order to strengthen the weak, and inevitably such a
relationship weakens the strong!
We have the same teaching in I Corinthians 5:11,
"But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is
called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer,
or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat." Notice
especially the words, "not to keep company" Once again we have the idea
of not mixing, mingling, or socializing with them.
Some of the sins of these weak ones are mentioned
in verse 11. Of course, we all know what a fornicator is. We all know what
an idolater is. We know what a drunkard is. We know what an extortioner
is. The word "covetous" means "greedy" The word "railer" means "an evil
speaker" or "critical." It is very plain that with people who criticize,
people who are greedy, people who are fornicators, people who are drunkards,
people who are extortioners, etc., we are not to keep company!
Notice the last eight words of I Corinthians 5:11,
"with such an one no not to eat." Here we have a simple explanation. Eating
is a sign of socializing, a symbol of sharing pleasures and fellowship.
'Ibis means that if someone is critical and asks you to go out to eat with
him, you are not supposed to go. You are supposed to be nice to him and
courteous to him and kind to him, but you are not supposed to have time
to accept his invitation and go out to eat. What God is saying is that
He does not want us to sit down and socialize with the weak Christian,
whether he be greedy, a fornicator or a critic. Now, of course, in our
Christian society the fornicator is in a class far beneath the critic,
but in God's economy they are in the same class, and though we are to be
kind and gracious to both, we are not to keep company, mix, mingle, socialize
or sit down to eat with them.
About the same thing is mentioned in Psalm 1:1-3,
"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor
standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in His law doth he meditate
day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water,
that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither;
and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper." Notice that we are not to walk
in the counsel of the ungodly We are not to stand in the way of sinners.
We are not to sit in the seat of the scornful. In other words, we are not
to run or walk with the weak Christian (that is, the fornicator, greedy,
idolater, drunkard, gossip or critic). We are not to stand around with
him. We are not to sit down to converse with him unless we are teaching
him spiritual things.
4. We are to support the weak. I
Thessalonians 5:14, "Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly,
comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men."
Acts 20:35, "I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought
to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how He
said, It is more blessed to give than to receive." This verse implies that
we are to be like an anchor. We stay the same. We are not supposed to be
pulled away from our position by them! This, in many cases, will happen
if we socialize with them, but we are to be the anchor, the unswerving,
unwavering, unchanging rock to which they can hold. We don't sip cocktails
with them so we can help them! We don't go mixed bathing with them so we
can let them know we are "good old boys." We don't use their language in
order to attempt to straighten them. We stay solid. We believe what we
always believed. We stand where we always stood. They can lean on us for
support.
This does not mean that we are to support their
weakness; it means we are to support the weak by our being strong and unwavering.
The word, "support," here is used concerning a foundation. We are to be
the foundation on which the weak can stand, the rock on which they can
lean, and when they decide to come back, they will find us where they left
us, living in the same Book, walking with the same God, standing on the
same truths, living with the same convictions. If they come back and find
us gone, we cannot support them.
5. We are to bear the infirmities of the weak. Romans
15:1, "We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak,
and not to please ourselves." This means patience toward their weakness,
but not acceptance of it. This means that we should be longsuffering with
them while they are in sin, but in no way leave the impression that we
condone the sin.
In summary, the Christian is to receive the weak,
support the weak, love the weak, be kind to the weak, help strengthen the
weak and do all within his power to lead him back to Christian strength.
On the other hand, he is not to socialize with him or mix and mingle with
him in a social manner.
As a young preacher in east Texas many years ago
I got to thinking one day, and I realized that I was chasing off the people
who were not full grown. I expected everyone to carry the load that I carried.
I was not willing to get anything from those from whom I could not get
everything. I was destroying the people who did not give all. It was sort
of an "all or nothing at all" situation. I distinctly remember the day
when I decided to accept Christians as they are and do my best to make
them what they ought to be.
At that time I sought some answers concerning
my weak people, and I came up with several reasons why they were weak,
as follows:
1. Some were carrying too light a load. They
could not become strong because they did not carry a heavy enough load
to make them strong. I read Galatians 6:1-6, "Brethren, if a man be overtaken
in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of
meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another's
burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. For if a man think himself to
be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself. But let every man
prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone,
and not in another. For every man shall bear his own burden. Let him that
is taught in the word communicate unto him that teacheth in all good things."
I then read Matthew 11:28-29, "Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are
heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn
of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your
souls."
Recently I was talking to a young man. He shared
the burden of his heart with me, and believe me, he did have a heavy burden!
After we had talked for awhile, I suggested that we pray together. He prayed
first. He started off by praying, "Dear Lord, take away my burden." Before
I knew it, I had interrupted his prayer, and I said, "Lord, don't do it."
(This is so unlike me. I do not ever recall doing such a thing before.)
He looked up and said, "Brother Hyles, don't you think God ought to take
my burden away?"
I said, "No, I don't."
He then bowed his head and began to pray again.
He prayed, "Lord, then don't take my burden away. Give me strength to bear
my burden."
To my surprise I interrupted again and said,
"Lord, don't do it!"
He stopped praying again and asked me why I had
asked the Lord not to give him strength to bear his burden.
I told him, "Son, you don't get strength for your
burdens; you get strength from your burdens. The burden is what makes you
strong. The strongest Christians are those who have the most burdens, and
they did not get strong in order to bear their burdens; they got strong
by bearing their burdens."
Suppose a young man asked his parents for a set
of weights for Christmas. Sure enough, he receives them as a gift from
his parents. The young man doesn't look at the weights and say, "Lord,
take my burden away." No, he asked for the burden; he requested it because
he wanted to be strong. Neither did the young man say, "Lord, make me strong
enough to lift these weights." Not at all! The very purpose of the weights
was to make him strong. If he were strong enough to lift the weights before
he got them, he didn't need them.
It seems that almost every time a Christian has
problems, he attributes it to the Devil. Preachers say to me often, "The
Devil sure is fighting." Now it just may be that God is giving you a set
of weights for Christmas in order to make you strong.
In cities all over America football players are
in weight rooms. They are not enjoying the perspiring, the groaning, the
grunting that they are doing, but they want to be strong. They have a battle
to fight on football fields across America. If they win the battle, they
must be strong. If they are strong, they must have burdens to bear and
weights to lift.
There are battles that the Christian must fight.
In order to win, he must be strong. If he is strong, he has to lift some
weights; he has to pump some iron; he has to have some burdens. The more
the weights and the bigger the weights, the stronger is the man. The more
the burdens and the bigger the burdens that the Christian bears, the stronger
he becomes, but many of our people are weak because they bear too light
a load.
2. Many are weak because they bear too soon
a load. A few days after someone is converted, we approach him
about teaching a Sunday school class, and before long he is so burdened
down that the load is too heavy for him to bear. Bear in mind, the weight
lifter starts off with the light weights first and gradually increases
the load that he lifts.
3. Some are weak because they carry too heavy
a load. A novice weight lifter does not start by bench pressing
300 pounds. That is too heavy a load for him. Many Christians have taken
up a load that was too heavy instead of gradually coming to that load,
and they have been unable to lift the weights. A young man who is given
a set of weights cannot get strong by trying to pick up a weight that he
cannot lift. It is the lifting of the weight that makes one strong, and
the weight lifted must be one that can be lifted! No one gets strong pulling
on a weight that remains on the floor. Care must be taken not to overload
the Christian and give him too heavy a load. This will cause him to be
weak.
4. Many are weak because they have the wrong
kind of load. Each Christian should know what type of a load
he can carry. For example, I have many assistant pastors. Their load levels
are different. Their talents and gifts are different. I must be careful
not to place them in areas where they are not capable. Many Christians
have been given tasks for which they were not suited. They became discouraged
and later, weak.
"Weak" is a relative term. There are degrees of
weakness and degrees of strength. It is easy for someone who is strong
to become impatient with one who is weak. It is also easy for the strong
ones to become critical of the weak and even to disdain them. Some in our
churches look at the weak with disgust. On the other hand, others choose
the weak as fellowsocializers and best friends. Neither of these positions
is the wise one. The wise and Scriptural position is for the strong Christian
to encourage, to support, to receive and to be kind to the weak. On the
other hand, he is not to expose himself to unnecessary interaction with
him, lest the weakness become contagious and the strong becomes weak instead
of the weak becoming strong.
Now read Romans 16:17, "Now I beseech you, brethren,
mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which
ye have learned; and avoid them." The word, "avoid" here does not mean
"to shun." It does not condone the action of the Pharisee. It simply means
to "bend away" from them.
There is no doctrine in the Bible any more plainly
presented than the doctrine of separation, and the Word of God is filled
with examples of people who did not practice this separation. Consequently,
they were led to ruin. Balaam sold a nation into intermarriage with idolaters
because he ran with the wrong crowd. Jehoshaphat destroyed his nation by
running with the wrong crowd and associating with the wicked King Ahab
and his rebellious wife, Jezebel. This association led Jehoshaphat's son
to marry Athaliah, the daughter of Ahab and Jezebel. What Jezebel did to
the northern kingdom, Athaliah did to the southern kingdom. Before Peter
cursed, swore and denied the faith, he was warming at the wrong fire and
following the Lord afar off with the wrong crowd. Choosing to run with
the wrong crowd ruined Lot, turned his wife to a pillar of salt, and wrecked
the lives of his children and their children. Running with the wrong crowd
caused Abraham to father a heathen nation begun by his illegitimate son,
Ishmael.
The Bible is very plain. We are not to run with
the wrong crowd. And, yes, there is a wrong crowd in every church and every
Christian school! We are to love them, to support them, to receive them,
to be kind to them, to be gracious to them, to be patient with them, but
we are not to keep company with them, according to I Corinthians 5:11.
When we embrace their weakness, we do not strengthen them; we meet them
on their level instead of on ours. We strengthen them by holding our position
and remaining strong so they will have an anchor that is firm and a foundation
that is solid when they return. Hence, they become strong because of our
strength. This is God's plan concerning our treatment of the weak.
Chapter 4 Treatment of the Strong
In every area of our lives we need strength around
us. One of the weaknesses of our society is the attempt by the masses to
weaken the strong. Business needs strong management and labor will be wise
to keep it so. Many a business has gone under because labor weakened management,
thereby killing the goose that laid the golden egg.
The same thing is true concerning politics. We
need a strong President, and the opposing political party is very unwise
in its attempt to weaken the power of the presidency and of the President.
He needs our support, our prayers and our encouragement for him to be strong.
One of the sad things about the press in our nation
is its constant attempt to weaken leadership with its constant desire to
sell papers and magazines. It continues to explore and seek the weaknesses
of the strong in an effort for the spectacular to be printed. In so doing,
we are lessening our own security by weakening the ones who offer it to
us.
In professional sports we are seeing the same
thing. The athlete gets rich at the expense of the owners, not realizing
that to weaken the ownership may someday cost him his job and destroy the
sport by which he makes his livelihood.
America needs strength! Wise is that nation that
strengthens the hands of its leadership, which in turn can offer security
and protection to followship.
Thank God for strong people! However, even in
our churches they often tend to be disliked. We love to pull for the underdog,
and there is something in us that wants to see the strong toppled, but
we need the strong, and when they fall they fall on us and rob us of a
security that we need from strength.
Our nation is in desperate need of some heroes.
Baseball needs a Babe Ruth, a Dizzy Dean, a Ted Williams and a Joe DiMaggio.
Football needs a Red Grange and Bronko Nagurski. Boxing needs a Jack Dempsey
and a Joe Louis. Golf needs an Arnold Palmer, a Ben Hogan and a Bob Jones.
Politics needs a Theodore Roosevelt and a George Washington. The military
needs a Douglas MacArthur, a General George Patton. The pulpit needs a
Dwight Moody, a Billy Sunday and a Charles Spurgeon. Law enforcement needs
a J. Edgar Hoover. Coaching needs a Vince Lombardi or a George Halas. This
is not the day for the hero or the legend. We seem to want to pull them
down to our level. We want to homogenize everybody, and we even attack
the principles of the dead in order to destroy yesterday's heroes while
we destroy today's We flounder for lack of leadership and at the same time
attempt to make leadership flounder.
We should encourage strong people. They are the
most lonely people in the church. They are the most criticized people in
the church, and they need our love, respect and confidence in order to
compensate for those who are trying to shoot them down.
In doing this we must be careful to understand
that strength has weakness, and we must not be disenchanted with our heroes
when we discover that they too are made of flesh.
I have known personally and intimately the greatest
preachers of this and the last generation. I was a warm personal friend
to Dr. Bob Jones, Sr. I knew in a very personal way Dr. R. G. Lee and was
an honorary pallbearer at his funeral. For 22 years I traveled with Dr.
John R. Rice, and perhaps I knew him better than anybody on earth except
for his own family. I preached his funeral message. I was a close friend
of Dr. Bill Rice, and for over a third of a century I was a good friend
with Evangelist Lester Roloff. I spoke at the funeral service for Dr. Bill
Rice and also preached Dr. Roloff's funeral message. Dr. Ford Porter was
my good friend, and I preached his funeral message. Then, of course, I
shared the same platform with such men as Jacob Gartenhaus, B. R. Lakin,
G. B. Vick and others. They were all great men, and they were all my heroes,
but I was well aware that each was human and possessed weaknesses. Some
of them fought each other, thereby revealing to me their humanity, but
in no way taking from me my estimation of their greatness.
We must thank God for the strong. We must realize
their humanity, but we must not let that realization shake our confidence
in them. They are great men, not perfect men. They are strong men, but
not omnipotent men. They are wise men, but not omniscient men. We need
men of their caliber as our leaders.
Paul was a great man and Peter was a great man;
yet they had personal problems between themselves. Galatians 2:11, "But
when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he
was to be blamed."
Barnabas was a great man and Paul was a great
man, but they were human as is manifested in Acts 15:36-40, "And some days
after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in
every city where we have preached the Word of the Lord, and see how they
do. And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark.
But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them
from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work. And the contention
was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other:
and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus; and Paul chose Silas,
and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God."
They had a sharp disagreement.
John Wesley and George Whitefield had problems
getting along together. The same is true with Calvin and Luther, Harry
Truman and Douglas MacArthur and many other great men. Though we should
not deify them and should accept them as human, we still need to exalt
them, to pray for them, to honor them and to strengthen them in order that
they in turn as our leaders may give us strength and direction.
In every church there are strong men--men with
leadership ability--men whom the church needs. Such men should be respected,
prayed for, honored and followed. They should not be open game for criticism
and gossip! Because of their strength they may not be as likable as others
in the church. Because of their strong wills, their manner may not be as
palatable as that of more gentle people, but we need them and should hold
them up before the Lord and encourage them.
Every church has some ladies who are more zealous
than others. Their manner may not be as gentle and as appealing because
they are leaders of the ladies and girls. They are needed. Such ladies
lead departments in the Sunday school, direct children's choirs, build
ladies' Sunday school classes, work as supervisors in college dormitories,
teach in the Christian school and perform multitudes of other important
tasks in the work of God. Because of their leadership abilities as they
lead other women and children, they are often the object of criticism,
especially by men, and especially by men who are not strong leaders and
have become jealous of the leadership ability of the ladies who are leaders.
Don't misunderstand me; I am not advocating that ladies lead men. The Bible
is very plain about that, but let us thank God for those ladies who are
strong and who can administrate in areas where men would not and could
not lead. May God's people look at the strong and thank God for them.
We are all flesh, and the best of us is weak,
but God has ordained that every human organization have leadership. A city
needs a mayor. A state needs a governor. A nation needs a king or a president
or a prime minister. A team needs a coach. A school needs a principal.
A church needs a pastor. A business needs an executive. A college needs
a president. A classroom needs a teacher. A dormitory needs a supervisor.
Now we must choose the strong from among us to fill these positions. When
chosen they should be admired, loved and honored. When the team weakens
the coach, games are lost. When the student weakens the teacher, he weakens
his education. When the country weakens the president, it weakens its national
security. When a church weakens a pastor, it loses its power. When a state
or a city weakens its governor or mayor, it promotes anarchy and confusion.
Let us not fall for Satan's method of luring the
follower into criticism and jealousy of the leader. We do not strengthen
ourselves when we weaken the strong; we rather weaken ourselves when we
weaken the strong, for God has given us the strong to strengthen us. Anarchy
not only weakens the nation, but it weakens the people of that nation,
and those who are guilty of anarchy are weaker than they would have been
had they been submissive. A submissive people is a strong people. A submissive
team is a strong team. A submissive student body forms a good school. A
submissive membership makes a great church. Any other plan is one that
is derived from Satan himself when, as an archangel, he rebelled against
God and sought to exalt himself above God and set himself on God's throne.
In so doing, he hurt himself! He certainly did not hurt God! God was still
God after Satan's rebellion, but Satan was no longer an archangel, and
his angels were no longer God's angels. He and his angels fell! Followers
always fall when they topple their leaders!
At this point in American history a tragic thing
is happening. Liberal politicians seem to have more animosity toward Mr.
Reagan than they do toward Mr. Gorbachev. They spend more time attacking
American conservatism than they do attacking Russian communism, and an
excessive hatred of communism seems to be a greater crime than communism
itself. The liberal politicians seem bent on joining the liberal press
for the destruction of any conservative leader who is strong. Then that
conservative leader represents our nation at summit meetings. His hands
are tied. His power is limited. His plans are paralyzed, and the weak leader
that we have created goes to represent us. By the time he is at the treaty
table, he has been made so powerless by his own fellow Americans that his
position is weakened--not because of the attack of the enemy but because
of the attack from our own citizens!
The same is true in a church. Parents often feel
that there is some merit in criticizing the pastor. Perhaps it gives them
some sense of power if they can speak ill of a strong leader. Their children
hear this ill speaking and lose confidence in the pastor. Then the day
comes when the child needs the pastor and only the pastor can help, but
by that time the child has lost confidence in his preacher! The parents
have weakened the leader so that the leader cannot help their own flesh
and blood.
Not only are we trying to weaken leadership and
in so doing weaken ourselves, but we are trying to destroy people who have
been gone from the scene for years. Not only do we want to tear down today's
heroes; we want to destroy yesterday's heroes. Not only does the liberal
press, the liberal politician and the liberal educator seek to homogenize
all of us today and seek to bring down any strong leader, but they unite
in attacking the memory of our past heroes, so they investigate in order
to find everything negative possible about J. Edgar Hoover, George Washington,
Douglas MacArthur, Dwight Eisenhower, Babe Ruth and others.
America's youth today are looking for heroes.
Let us help them find some. Let us close ranks and thank God for those
who are strong and pray for God to give us other strong people whom we
may follow, encourage and strengthen!
Someone has said that preaching is pouring back
to the congregation in a flood what is received from them in a vapor. Some
few, thank God, can capture this vapor, translate it into a flood and return
it to the audience. Leadership is the same way. Let us constantly send
them the vapor so that they may return to us a flood!
Chapter 5 Treatment of the Heartbroken
Ezekiel 34:3, "Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you
with the wool, ye kill them that are fed: but ye feed not the flock."
Isaiah 61:1, "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon
me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek;
he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the
captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound."
One of the main purposes of a church is its ministry
to the heartbroken. Someone has said, "He who preaches to broken hearts
will never want for a congregation." I have often said that behind every
face there is a broken heart, and behind every smile there is a reason
to cry. As I look out over my congregation on a Sunday morning, I see those
whose hearts are broken because of incurable illnesses in their own body
or in the body of a loved one. I see those whose hearts are broken because
they are under attack; they are suffering severe criticism or are objects
of a malicious scandal. I see a couple whose daughter has just left her
husband to run off with another man. I see a lady whose daughter is pregnant
and not married. I see a lady whose husband has just left her to rear the
children alone. I see a man whose business has just faced bankruptcy I
see a family whose son has broken their hearts. I see children whose daddy
has just forsaken them, and I see multitudes of others whose hearts are
broken. God's people should take extra care in their treatment of these
brokenhearted saints.
1. Act as near normal as possible. They
want to know of your love, but they don't want to be singled out for special
attention. Just let them know that nothing has changed. Assure them that
your relationship is the same as always, but do not do this verbally Do
it by treating them as you always have. Just let them know by your normal
treatment that all is the same.
2. It is usually best not to mention their
problem. To do so may open a wound that has been closing. It may cause
a fresh hurt that is unnecessary. It is often best not to say such things
as, "I heard about your burden," "I know about your problem," etc.
3. Do not try to figure out why. It
is so easy for God's people to become an Eliphaz, a Zophar or a Bildad,
who were the "friends" of Job. One of them came and said, "Job, I know
why you are having your trouble; you are not spiritual enough!" Another
came and said, "Job, I know why you are having your trouble; you have left
the traditions of the fathers!" Another came and said, "Job, I know why
are having your trouble; you have sinned and are being punished!" The truth
is that none of us knows why God does what He does, and more often than
not, God's people face troubles and heartache because of reasons other
than punishment for sin. It is not our job to figure out why; it is our
job to be loving, thoughtful and helpful when our brothers and sisters
have broken hearts.
4. Don't tell them of any criticism that you
have heard. Years ago we had a man in our church who walked with me
from my office to the pulpit on a regular basis. Just before I would leave
him to walk to the platform, he would put his arm around me or take my
hand and with emotion say something like this: "I'm for you, Preacher .
. . no matter what they say!" All during the service I kept wondering,
"What did they say?" The truth is, that man loved me, but he did not comfort
me.
One little girl wrote me a note and said, "Dear
Brother Hyles. I love you in spite of the fact that nobody else does."
Somehow or other that note was not as comforting to me as it was intended
to be!
Recently a member of the church who is a very
lovely Christian came to me and said, "Brother Hyles, I want you to know
that my family is for you in this battle." Then I started to wonder, "What
is the battle? What battle are they talking about?"
5. Use unsaid words to express sympathy. Perhaps
a squeeze of the hand, a pat on the back, or a touch of the elbow is all
that is necessary. With those little gestures one is saying, "Everything
is the same. Nothing has changed. I still have confidence in you, and I
still love you. I am still your friend, and I still think you are a good
Christian."
6. Show confidence in them. Not
long ago a preacher friend of mine had his heart broken by the actions
of a married child. As soon as I heard of it, I talked with him and asked
him if he would be a speaker on a program with me. This was simply an expression
of my saying, "I still have confidence in you, and I'm your friend! Nothing
has changed!"
Several years ago I had a man lined up to come
to speak for one of the ministries of our church. Between the time that
he was scheduled and the time for the speaking engagement, he had a broken
heart that could have made him fearful that some of us had lost confidence
in him. I did not write him and tell him what I had heard. I did not call
him to assure him of my love in spite of his broken heart. I simply wrote
him a little note confirming his speaking engagement with me and telling
him that I was looking forward to having him. That was all that was necessary.
His heart was broken. I did not want to remind him of the cause, but I
simply wanted him to know that nothing had changed.
Express your love and friendship to the heartbroken.
There are many ways that this could be done. Years ago when some slander
had been spoken by wicked tongues concerning my good friend, Dr. John R.
Rice, my heart was grieved! A few days later we were speaking together.
As he walked on the platform and sat down beside me, I reached over and
squeezed his knee and said simply, "I'm your friend." Years passed. Careless
lips and malicious tongues chose to speak evil of me. The next time Dr.
Rice and I were together, he reached over from his chair on the platform
and squeezed my knee and whispered, "I'm your friend." He did not need
to say any more. I knew what he meant. On one occasion Dr. Curtis Hutson
did the same thing to me, and as I remember on another occasion, I did
the same thing to him.
Many years ago Evangelist Charles Weigle suffered
the heartbreak of his life. His wife decided she did not want to be a preacher's
wife. She took their child and left him. The great heart of Dr. Lee Roberson
simply contacted Dr. Weigle and asked if he would come and live at Tennessee
Temple College and Highland Park Baptist Church. Dr. Weigle agreed to do
so. Dr. Roberson was simply saying to Dr. Weigle and the whole world, "I
have confidence in you still. I love you still. I'm your friend still,
and nothing has changed."
This love and friendship could be expressed by
a gift sent seemingly for no reason at all, or an attractive card or a
tender embrace or the touch of the hand or an arm around the shoulder.
The one consoling the heartbroken should not do
it too strongly. Just let the brokenhearted one know that all is the same;
nothing has changed.
7. Try to decide for what the heartbroken person
is reaching. Some people want and feel that they need different means
of expression of confidence and love. If you know someone well enough to
know that they need more than the aforementioned reminders, give it to
them. If you feel someone reaching out for a certain kind of assurance,
give it to them.
Leaders need this kind of assurance as well as
followers. I am thinking now about one of the greatest preachers in America
whose daughter broke his heart, and he has had to rear her son. I am thinking
of another one of the greatest preachers in America who one day on a platform
pointed to the balcony and said to me, "nose two little girls up there
are my granddaughters." His son had divorced his wife; the lady in the
balcony with the two children was his former daughter-in-law, and the children
were his grandchildren.
One of the ten best known preachers in America
had a daughter who went into the world, broke his heart and defied everything
that her daddy preached. It is said that Billy Sunday stood to speak in
a great tabernacle. Just as he began to speak, someone handed him a newspaper
that told of his son committing an awful sin, and perhaps had been arrested.
Supposedly Billy Sunday grabbed his chest and shouted, "Preach Christ,"
and slumped to the floor.
One of the greatest preachers in America had a
son who became a liberal and destroyed the work of his dad after his dad
passed away.
Heartbreak comes to everybody, in every walk of
life and on every scale of spiritual growth and progress. Let us treat
the heartbroken with a tender, subtle awareness that nothing has changed.
Before concluding this chapter, I must speak a
word to the heartbroken. When something happens in your life that causes
you to wonder if you will still be respected and accepted, don't withdraw
from us! We still love you! You belong to us! We still have confidence
in you! Let us have a chance to assure you of our love and confidence!
Don't leave us! Don't leave your church and go to another! Stay with those
who love you! You need them, and they need you! You need their love! They
need to love you! You need their expression of confidence, and they need
to give it!
Chapter 6 Treatment of Followers
Ephesians 6:5-9, "Servants,
be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with
fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ; not with
eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will
of God from the heart; with good will doing service, as to the Lord, and
not to men: knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same
shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free. And, ye masters,
do the same things unto them, forbearing threatening: knowing that your
Master also is in heaven; neither is there respect of persons with Him."
Ruth 2:4, "And, behold, Boaz came
from Bethlehem, and said unto the reapers, The Lord be with you. And they
answered him, The Lord bless thee."
In the New Testament there are three
titles given for the main position in a New Testament church. One is the
title of pastor; another is the title of elder; another is the title of
bishop. All three of these titles represent the same position.
I Peter 5:14, "The elders which
are among you I exhort, who am also an elder, and a witness of the sufferings
of Christ, and also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed: Feed
the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not
by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind;
neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the
flock. And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown
of glory that fadeth not away."
You will notice in these verses,
all three of these titles are mentioned. They all deal with the same office.
Each of these titles represents a unique treatment that the leader is to
give to his followers. For example, the title of elder represents experience
and wisdom. The leader is to give to the follower access to his wisdom.
This could come through preaching, teaching, counseling, etc.
Now consider the title of pastor.
This is another word for shepherd. The leader of the church is to give
his followers the protection that a shepherd gives to the sheep. He is
to warn the followers of things that would harm them even as the shepherd
did to the sheep, and he is to stand vigil over them to keep these things
from doing them harm.
The third title is that of bishop.
This word means overseer. This means the pastor is the overseer of the
follower. For the good of the follower, the pastor is to oversee all of
the work of the church and be sure that it is done properly and that the
follower may have the kind of church that he needs in order that he may
be all that God wants him to be.
Much is said about the way the follower
should treat the leader, and this is right. Not enough is said concerning
the way the leader should treat the follower. Oh, yes, the follower is
taught to obey his spiritual leader. Hebrews 13:7, "Remember them which
have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose
faith follow, considering the end of their conversation." He is likewise
taught to submit himself to his spiritual leader. Hebrews 13:17, "Obey
them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch
for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with
joy, and not with grief. for that is unprofitable for you." These are words
that include having faith in, yielding to, giving in, following, etc. There
are other places in the Bible that remind us that God's people are to follow
the pastors.
Then there are Scriptures that remind
the pastors regarding their treatment of other pastors. The New Testament
church had a multiplicity of pastors. Each church would have several pastors,
just as is the case in the First Baptist Church of Hammond. There is a
certain way that these pastors are to treat each other. I Timothy 1:1-2,
"Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the commandment of God our Saviour,
and Lord Jesus Christ, which is our hope; unto Timothy, my own son in the
faith: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God our Father and Jesus Christ our
Lord." I Timothy 5:17, "Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy
of double honour, especially they who labour in the word and doctrine."
Read these verses carefully. Paul is writing to one elder, or pastor, Timothy
He is telling him how to treat other elders or pastors. In I Timothy 5:19
he reminds him that he is not to believe an accusation without witnesses.
He reminds him of the respect and honor that he is to give to other pastors.
Many pastors preach and teach from these passages in an effort to teach
their people how to treat the preacher. I do not think in so doing they
do an injustice to the Scriptures. I do believe, however, that the pastor
should pause to realize that the primary teaching of this verse deals with
the way pastors should treat each other, not only pastors within the same
church, but pastors of churches within the same community, state, nation,
world, etc.
Concerning this subject, I always
defend the pastor. When I hear something negative about a man of God, I
do not believe it! When there is a battle between a pastor and laymen,
I defend the pastor! I am not always right in this, but I am right more
times than wrong, and I'm right more times than if I use my own judgment
and intuition. It has been my policy through the years to defend God's
man and God's men. Sometimes I have been proven wrong, but I have never
been sorry for the policy.
I will not counsel or give an appointment
to a member of another area fundamental church without a written note from
the pastor of that church requesting that I counsel with his member.
I will not visit nor allow my staff
or members to visit the home of the member of another fundamental church
in the area. This is true even if this person brings his family to visit
our services. This is also true even if he checks the little square at
the bottom of the visitor's card, signifying that he is interested in joining
First Baptist Church of Hammond. I am for God's men! I know they are not
perfect, but I believe the finest group of men in the world is that group
which composes God's men. I am glad that it is still news when one goes
bad. This means that most do not!
Not only does God admonish us concerning
the way the follower should treat the pastor and the way the pastors should
treat each other, but it admonishes us concerning the way the pastor should
treat the followers, or for that matter, the way any leader should treat
any follower.
1. The leader should give the
same loyalty to the follower that he expects from the follower.Much
is said about loyalty from the bottom up. More should be said about loyalty
from the top down. Oftentimes leaders come to me expressing their dismay
and disdain because of disloyal followers. Loyalty, however, is a two-way
street and should go from the leader to the follower as well as from the
follower to the leader. This chapter is being written at the time of the
Congressional hearings and the questioning of Colonel North, Admiral Poindexter,
Mr. McFarland and others. I will not attempt to go into the pros and cons
or to be provocative concerning these hearings, but concerning the matter
of loyalty, I have been very impressed with the loyalty to each other by
the men being questioned. Subordinates have appeared to be extremely loyal
to leaders, and superiors have been extremely loyal, in my opinion, to
subordinates. This is the way it should be.
2. Leaders should accept followers
as equals. A man is not necessarily a leader because he is superior
to someone else. A man is not necessarily a follower because he
is inferior to another. The art of following is just as great as the art
of leading, and a leader who expects loyal followers should be a loyal
leader and should stand by his followers in the same manner that he expects
his followers to stand by him. The leader should certainly not look down
from a pedestal to the follower, and he should respect the art of following
as much as the follower respects the art of leading.
All of us are leaders and all of
us are followers. This is as it should be. To be a good leader, one must
be in some area of life a follower so he can know the heartbeat of the
follower. To be a good follower, one must be in some area of life a leader
so he can know the heartbeat of the leader. A man may be a leader at home,
as he heads his family, and then a follower at work; or a man may be a
leader at work and a follower at church, or a man may be a leader at work
and a follower at work. Perhaps he is a foreman who has a superintendent
for whom he works and laborers who work for him.
I have a wonderful man who works
with me named Randy Ericson. Randy is in charge of the maintenance of the
many buildings at First Baptist Church. He has several custodians who work
for him, and Randy in turn works for me. When we come to church, I am the
leader and Randy is the follower. When he takes me down to the boiler room
to look at a problem in the heating system, he is the leader and I am the
follower. There is no place in any organization for big shots and little
shots. Everybody is important. All of us should look at the rest of us
as equals.
3. Each of us should purposely
be followers in some area. There is hardly a week that passes without
my receiving a call from some pastor concerning trouble in his church.
It is almost always the same trouble. Somebody in the church who is a leader
everywhere else he goes wants to run the church and take the pastor's position.
Here is a man who owns a business, is president of a civic club, a leader
in politics, who comes to church. It is difficult for him to follow, but
it is good for him to do so, because obedience is a quality that gives
one the right to be a master. Luke 15:25-32, "Now his elder son was in
the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and
dancing. And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things
meant. And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed
the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound. And he was
angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated
him. And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve
thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou
never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends: but as
soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots,
thou hast killed for him the fatted calf. And he said unto him, Son, thou
art ever with me, and all that I have is thine. It was meet that we should
make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again;
and was lost, and is found." This is the story about the brother of the
prodigal son. This is the brother who stayed at home and worked for his
father. Notice the two things that the son said in verse 29. What a wonderful
pair of statements! Now notice later on in verse 31 the father says, "Son,
all that I have is thine." Note that the father said to the son that everything
he had was his. How did the son get this mastery over his father? He got
it because he said, "Neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment."
He said, "Dad, I never disobeyed you." His dad said, "Then all that I have
is yours." Obedience is the way to mastery. Obedience causes the one who
is the servant to be the master over the one who is the served and makes
the master a servant to the servant.
Obedience is the key that unlocks
the door to authority For example, I am now driving a car through the mountains
of northern California. I got in the car and the car said to me, "Obey
me. Put the key in the place prepared for it and turn the key to the right.
If you will obey me, I will let you master me." Now I could have said to
the car, "Nobody is going to tell me what to do. I don't believe in obedience."
The car would have said to me, "Then you will never master me, for the
way to master me is to obey me. You put the key where I say to put it and
twist it like I say to twist it, and you may have me as your servant."
I did this in obedience to the command of the car. Immediately I became
master of the car. I am driving it now. I am turning to the right a little
bit. I decide which way the car turns. I can play the radio if I want to.
I can turn it down; I can turn it up; I can turn it on; I can turn it off.
I can turn it to any station that I choose. I can turn on the air conditioning.
I can set it where I want to set it, or I can turn it off, or I can turn
on the heater if I choose. I can turn on the outside lights, the inside
lights, the parking lights, the flashing lights and do as I will. I can
make the car go faster or slower, or I can stop it. I can turn it to the
right or I can turn it to the left. How did I get this command over the
car? By obeying. Obedience is the way to mastery.
A wall socket in the house says
to me, "Obey me, and I will serve you." I say to the wall socket, "Nobody
is going to tell me what to do." The wall socket says, "'Then I will not
give you my power." I finally decide to yield and obey the wall socket.
When I do so, it will play a radio for me; it will operate an electric
shaver, waffle iron, television, iron, washing machine, dishwasher, or
whatever I decide. All I have to do is obey the wall socket, and then I
become its master. Obedience is not the bad word that our generation has
made it. It is the way to mastery, not the way to slavery.
Read. Psalm 1:1-3, "Blessed is the
man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the
way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight
is in the law of the Lord; and in His law doth he meditate day and night.
And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth
forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever
he doeth shall prosper."
God gives us five things here that
will make Him a servant to us. He says if we walk not in the counsel of
the ungodly and do not stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of
the scornful but delight in the law of the Lord and meditate therein day
and night, He will see to it that we prosper. He says, "You do these five
things in obedience to Me, and I will obey you."
II Chronicles 7:14, "If My people,
which are called by My name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek
My face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven,
and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."
God says to us that if His people,
called by His name, will humble themselves, pray, seek His face, turn from
their wicked ways, that He will hear from Heaven, forgive their sins. He
says, "If you will obey Me, I'll obey you. The way to mastery over Me is
to obey Me."
John 15:7, "If ye abide in Me, and
My words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done
unto you."
God says to us, "Abide in Me; let
My words abide in you. Then I will obey you. Ask what ye will." God reminds
us, "Command ye Me."
Psalm 37:4, "Delight thyself also
in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart."
God says, "Delight yourself in Me,
and I'll give you the desires of your heart." Ah, what a blessed, blessed
truth! Obedience is the way to mastery. Followship is the way to leadership,
and no one should lead who hasn't followed; no one will lead successfully
who has not followed; and no one can be a master until he has obeyed.
Matthew 28:19, 20, "GO
ye
therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father,
and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: teaching them to observe all things
whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway even unto
the end of the world. Amen." Notice the words in verse 18, "All power is
given unto Me in heaven and in earth." This is followed by a command, "Go,
teach, baptize, and teach others."' These commands are followed by a promise,
"Lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world."' What a blessed
truth! He goes back to that "all power" before the commands. He says, "All
power is given unto Me. I will give you that power and give you the right
to have that power if you will obey Me. In other words, you obey Me, and
you can be the master." Obedience is the way to mastery.
The earth says to the tree, "Obey
me. Place in me your roots, and all of my wealth will come to your growth."
The teacher says to the student, "Obey me, and all of my knowledge will
be at your disposal." The parent says to the child, "Obey me, and all that
I have can be yours," such as is seen in the story of the prodigal son's
brother in Luke 15.
4. The leader should try to learn
the needs of each follower. Bear in mind that the leader has access
to powers not accessible to the follower. These powers should be used in
order to help the follower, so the leader should be very sensitive to the
follower's needs.
5. The leader should try to meet
the needs of each follower. What a blessed truth! Since the leader
has the wherewithal that the follower often does not have, and since the
leader is supposed to have discernment concerning the needs of the follower,
he then should use that wherewithal to satisfy the needs that are known
by his discernment.
6. The leader should get ideas
from the follower. My definition of leadership perhaps is oversimplified,
but here it is: A leader is one who goes to all of his followers to learn
from them; he compiles a list of all he has learned and gives each follower
a copy As has been said, preaching is pouring back to the congregation
in a flood what the congregation sends to the preacher in a vapor. Leading
is collecting the knowledge of the followers and making each follower aware
of the knowledge of all the rest.
I travel every week. I go to every
part of the country. I learn everywhere I go, and then I take what I learn
from each part of the country and try to teach those who look to me in
some way as a leader.
7. The leader should give strength
to the follower. This is much the same as the preaching. Each
follower gives a little strength to the leader, making him stronger. The
leader then uses this strength received from the followers to give strength
and security to the followers who made him strong.
8. The leader should be a servant
of the follower. Did not the Master say that the servant is
greatest of all? The way that we become leaders and have the right to be
leaders is by serving. In so serving he convinces his followers of his
sincerity, concern, willingness and ability to lead. Coerced followship
is dictatorship. Earned followship is leadership.
Earlier in this chapter mention
was made about loyalty. Loyalty is one of the most misunderstood traits
and graces. In concluding this chapter, I would like for you to consider
the following about loyalty.
Loyalty is not the absence of disloyalty.
It is a positive trait, not the absence of a negative one. In other word,
a person is not necessarily loyal because he is not disloyal. There is
some ground between loyalty and disloyalty. Perhaps we could say there
is loyalty, aloyalty and disloyalty. Disloyalty criticizes, aloyalty is
silent, but loyalty defends! Both loyalty and disloyalty are vocal. Aloyalty
is silent. Loyalty never allows one word of criticism about the leader.
It is complete defense and support. It not only never says, "Did you hear
about . . . ?" but also it does not listen to, "Did you hear about ?" It
does not participate in criticism with the tongue or the ear. It does not
give itself the satisfaction of criticizing nor does it give a sympathetic
ear which gives others the satisfaction of criticizing.
Everyone cannot be talented; everyone
can be loyal. Loyalty is one trait that is attainable by all. Disloyalty
is the one trait that is not excusable! It is the unpardonable sin! It
is the most detestable and deplorable trait that a follower can have. It
has caused heartbreak to many leaders. It has caused heartbreak to more
followers. It has ruined the reputation of many leaders. It has ruined
the character of many followers. To those who possess disloyalty, it has
become a terminal cancer and professional suicide.
Loyalty is the complete support
and defense of a leader. There are several reasons why it should be given.
1. Respect for the work.A
few days ago I received a call from a pastor whose church operates a grade
school and a high school. This pastor told me a sad story about his principal
becoming disloyal. He had gone from class to class announcing his resignation
and giving the reasons why he was leaving.
Many years ago this pastor bought
some property and began a church. He cleared off the property with his
own hands and with blood, sweat and toil. Over many years he had seen the
church, under his leadership, grow to a membership of several thousand,
while the school had grown to an enrollment of several hundred. The pastor
then employed this principal. The pastor gave to the principal the buildings
which he had helped to build with his own hands, pupils whom he had won
to Christ, supplies and equipment purchased with money that he had raised
and much of which he had sacrificially given. Hence, the principal assumed
responsibility over children whom he had not won in buildings he had not
built using equipment he had not purchased. He had no moral right to damage
the work on the altar of his own hurt feelings. If and when he felt he
could no longer work happily in the situation, he should have courteously
resigned and never offered or listened to any criticism of the pastor.
2. Respect for success. When
one is a follower to a successful leader, the very success of that leader
should command loyalty. For example, I am on the board of the SWORD OF
THE LORD, a weekly publication edited by Dr. Curtis Hutson. I have been
on this board for many years. Now suppose that I disagree with Dr. Hutson
on some issue. I feel and have always felt that as a member of the board
I should prefer his feelings above my own. I have never edited a newspaper;
he has been an editor for many years. His success measured by the one third
of a million subscribers, or by almost any other criterion, should lead
the wise follower to have complete confidence in the wisdom of the leader.
It is amazing how that in this revolutionary
generation young people who have never built a chicken coop rebel against
master builders, who have never led a squad think they can lead an army,
who have never had a savings account think they can run a bank, and who
have never been a dog catcher think they can improve the presidency, have
absolutely no respect for success!
At this writing I know of a young
man who has just assumed the responsibility of becoming principal of a
school operated by a church and led by a pastor who founded the school,
was its first principal and has overseen the work for years. This young
man who is fresh out of college feels that the diploma he holds in his
hands has given him the right and equipment to know more about Christian
education than this pastor of many years' experience. He is manifesting
a disloyalty which is disgraceful. Someone in school should have taught
him "Loyalty 13:1, "and if for no other reason, this loyalty should be
manifested because of respect for the success of the pastor. He should
be seeking the pastor's counsel instead of shunning it. He should be asking
for the pastor's counsel instead of abhorring it.
3. Respect for knowledge.There
are some things that the leader knows that no one else can know. This not
only pertains to facts, talent, etc., but it also pertains to knowledge
of people and circumstances which he, for obvious reasons, cannot divulge
to the followers. In other words, the follower does not always have all
of the facts. There are some things that only a leader can know. Hence,
it may appear to the follower that the leader is taking a wrong course
of action, causing the follower to oppose him vehemently However, if the
follower knew the facts that the leader cannot divulge to him, he would
no doubt arrive at the same conclusion to which the leader has arrived.
This means that the follower should trust the leader even if his judgment
seems unwise, realizing that the leader possesses many facts that only
he knows and that if he, the follower, were acquainted with the entire
case, he would probably arrive at the same conclusion.
If, for any reason, the follower
cannot give this trust and confidence to the leader, he should never under
any condition rebel or revolt. He should very quietly and ethically tiptoe
out. He has no right whatsoever to talk to anyone about his differences
with the leader, and he should leave without causing as much as a ripple
on the water.
4. Respect for the system.To
be sure, we are all human beings stranded on a planet whirling through
space. Since there is no one here but us, we have to govern ourselves.
This means we have to choose leaders who will govern us. This is why in
our system a country has a king or a president, a state has a governor,
a city has a mayor, a family has a father, a church has a pastor, and an
employee has a boss. Someone must be at the top. The system itself should
require loyalty from the follower to the leader. When this system breaks
down, anarchy follows the breakdown, and chaos follows the anarchy. This
is why we are reminded again and again in the Bible to respect our leaders,
obey those who are over us and follow those who lead us. Oftentimes the
leader is not of God, but the system is of God and the position is of God.
This is why God admonishes children to obey their parents, servants to
obey their masters, wives to obey their husbands, citizens to obey their
governments, etc. The system is God's plan. We must not rebel against it.
5. Respect for your future.Disloyal
followers are seldom given loyal followers when they become leaders. Disloyal
followers make poor leaders.
I have known hundreds of assistant
pastors, music directors and education directors to be disloyal and to
cause trouble in the church by trying to unseat the pastor or spread rumors
about him. I have known very few who have won, and in practically every
case, the damage to the disloyal follower is far greater than the damage
to the criticized leader. Criticism always hurts the critic more than the
criticized. Hatred always hurts the hater more than the hated. Gossip always
hurts the gossiper more than the one about whom he gossips. The disloyal
follower always stands to lose more than he takes from, the accused leader.
There is also a law of sowing and
reaping. In the Bible we are reminded that everything is reproduced after
its own kind. Over and over again in the book of Genesis we find everything
has in itself its own seed to bring forth its own kind. Ibis is true not
only in the physical but also in the emotional, in the personality and
in the character. The pastor who criticizes other pastors will have people
who criticize him. The teacher who criticizes the principal will have pupils
who criticize him. God has a way of "letting our chickens come home to
roost."
Not only does the subordinate usually
lose, but he is also forming a habit of being disloyal that will hound
him the rest of his life. Look at Abraham and Lot. Lot and his herdsmen
became disloyal to Abraham. Lot chose for himself the best land, but look
at the life of heartache that followed. I have lived long enough to see
how battles turn out. I have watched young men become disloyal to leaders.
I have watched these young men become middle aged men. I have scrutinized
their careers carefully When as a follower one is disloyal, he is usually
as a leader suspicious of those who work under him, for he has developed
a life pattern which leads to failure and stifles success.
It has also been interesting through
the years to watch the development of the children of disloyal people.
It is interesting, tragic and almost unbelievable to see how disloyalty
in the life of a parent affects the children. Through the years I have
made surveys of the children of people who have become disloyal and have
left churches that I have pastored. In not one case has a single child
gone into full-time service for God, and in most cases, they have become
adults who do not even attend church. A part of this is because of their
secret and maybe even subconscious disgust for the disloyal parents. Part
of it is because the kind of churches chosen later by these people does
not turn out the best product. A part of it is God's judgment and the law
of sowing and reaping doing its work.
6. Respect for the unsaved.When
Abraham and Lot and their herdsmen had trouble, there is a statement which
is brief but arresting which says simply, "And the Canaanite and the Perizzite
dwelled then in the land." (Genesis 13:7b) In other words, others saw the
strife. They heard the bickering. They observed the disloyalty. One wonders
how many people will spend eternity in Hell because of disloyalty which
results in bickering, gossip, slander, criticism, vindication, retaliation
and other traits spawned in Hell by Lucifer and his angels.
Chapter 7 Treatment of Those Who Have Qualities That
Are Irritating
Genesis 13:5-11, "And Lot also,
which went with Abram, had flocks, and herds, and tents. And the land was
not able to bear them, that they might dwell together: for their substance
was great, so that they could not dwell together. And there was strife
between the herdmen of Abram's cattle and the herdmen of Lot's cattle:
and the Canaanite and the Perizzite dwelled then in the land. And Abram
said unto Lot, Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee,
and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we be brethren. Is not the
whole land before thee? separate thyself, I pray thee, from me: if thou
wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou depart
to the right hand, then I will go to the left. And Lot lifted up his eyes,
and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered every where,
before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the
Lord, like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar. Then Lot chose
him all the plain of Jordan; and Lot journeyed east: and they separated
themselves the one from the other."
Romans 16:17, "Now I beseech you,
brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the
doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them."
As is often said on these pages,
faithful fundamentalist people are interwoven into a family like situation
for many hours a week. Now any two people who are closely associated will
have qualities that irritate each other. There are some people who leave
a ring around the bathtub. Others leave the pickle jar lid unscrewed. Still
others squeeze the toothpaste from the top of the tube. In our fundamental
churches we are going to find habits and qualities in other people that
are irritating to us. In our effort to keep peace, we must find ways to
prevent this irritation. Of necessity, this happens in homes, churches,
jobs, school and at play. In order for peace to prevail and unity to reign,
this problem must be solved, as follows:
1. Do not rely on doing better. Especially
is this true in the case of adults. Fire and gasoline will always explode
when united. The gasoline can vow to do better, and the fire can promise
to improve, but it will not be done; explosion is inevitable. Oil and water
will never mix. Oil may promise to mix with water, and water may make a
resolution to mix with oil, but they will never mix. Because of this, it
is usually best for other measures to be taken.
2. Discover what it is about
you that irritates your friend and what it is about your friend that irritates
you. Face it with frank reality.
3. Stay away from circumstances
that cause this irritation. Abraham was Lot's uncle. When Abraham
left the Ur of the Chaldees, he took his nephew with hi m and reared him
as if he were his own son. When a famine came in the land, Abraham took
his family to Egypt. There he and Lot both became wealthy, and as is often
the case, their wealth caused problems between them. Their employees began
to war with each other. Something had to be done! Abraham approached Lot
and suggested that Lot choose whatever land he wanted for himself Abraham
then agreed to take what was left. He was simply saying, "Lot, let's not
allow strife between us. Let us alleviate that which causes the strife.
It is best that we not own the same land and share the same property. Let
us circumvent the circumstances that cause the friction and the things
that are irritants to each of us. In other words, let us stay away from
what irritates us and causes us trouble."
There are some people that you can
work with, but you cannot play with them. In such cases, do work together,
but do not play together.
Then there are some people with
whom you can play but with whom you cannot work. In such cases, have social
life with them, but do not bear the yoke of work together.
There are some people that you can
be with for a short time but not for a long time. To be together for awhile
is pleasant and delightful, but after awhile irritation comes. In such
cases, discover how long you can be together before a problem arises, and
limit yourself to that amount of time.
There are some people with whom
certain subjects cause strife and stress. In such cases, avoid those subjects.
Recently I was fellowshipping with a young man. We probably agree on most
everything, but there is one subject about which we cannot agree. We were
having a wonderful time. Then he brought up the subject. I suggested that
since we were having such a good time together we not allow ourselves to
enter into an area where we disagree. He agreed that we should stay within
the boundaries of those things and not to enter into that subject which
would cause us irritation.
There are certain people who make
certain statements that irritate us. Discover those statements and avoid
them. Far too many of us want to irritate each other, and at certain times
in order to do so, we will use statements that we know will cause friction.
I know one man who, when he is angry
at his wife, inevitably uses the statement, "You are just like your mother!"
He knows that that statement will hurt his wife, and when he wants to hurt
her, he uses it. Why should any of us want to hurt any of the rest of us!
In order for churches to stay united, its members need to use extra care
not to say things that will cause another to hurt.
There are some people who work better
when communication is by memo, and there are others who work better when
communication is by conversation. The wise person will learn the preferences
of his friend and act wisely.
There are some things that two people
cannot share. The wise people will discover them and avoid them. Years
ago when our children were small, Mrs. Hyles and I took the children to
visit their maternal grandparents. At that time we lived only about 20
miles from them, and one night a week we went over to their house for a
meal. One evening while we were there, I became a little nauseated. I went
to Mrs. Hyles' mother, whom we call MaMaw Slaughter, and said, "MaMaw,
I'm not feeling well. Do you have any Alka Seltzer?"
She said that she did not.
I said, "I always thought you kept
Alka Seltzer."
She said, "Well, I'm out now." I
don't know why, but I had some suspicion that she was not telling me the
truth. A while later I was in the kitchen and I saw a bottle of Alka Seltzer
on the windowsill. I went to the other room and told MaMaw. I reminded
her that I had asked her if she had any Alka Seltzer and that she had told
me that she had not. Then I told her that I had seen those in the kitchen.
She replied, "Oh, those are PaPaw's
(her husband's)." I then learned that they had had some disagreement about
how tight the lid should be placed on Alka Seltzer bottles, so in order
to prevent being irritated with each other, they had decided that each
would have his own bottle of Alka Seltzers.
At first thought, one may think
that this is being a little picky, but I like it! They did not want to
fuss or irritate each other. They had found one area that caused friction,
and they had circumvented that area. They detoured around the Alka Seltzers
in order to avoid tension between themselves.
When our children were small, Mrs.
Hyles and I had some difference of opinion in how we should discipline
them. (Of course, I was right!) This could have caused real friction, but
we detoured around the friction and agreed that when one of us was disciplining
the children, the other would leave the room. Many times one of us would
be disciplining the children and the other would take a walk around the
block or go out in the yard for a few minutes. This kept me from having
to witness her excessive leniency, and it kept her from having to witness
the execution when I was the disciplinarian.
There are some people who are strongly
opinionated. Occasionally two such people marry or two such people share
the same bus route or are on the same staff. When strongly opinionated
people share in the same work, it is usually best for the opinion not to
be expressed. Once again, we are circumventing areas of friction and tension.
It is usually best for people who
are together a lot not to speak often of ailments. To most people, constant
complaining about a headache, a toothache, weariness, etc. is irritating.
If such is the case, people would be wise to suffer alone rather than to
fight together. The wise people will find those conditions, circumstances
and habits that gender strife between them and avoid them.
The wise teacher will eliminate
the exposure of unnecessary things that are irritating to the students.
Likewise, the wise husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter, coach,
athlete, pastor, staff members, employer, employee and friends in all areas
of life will be careful to avoid those events, times, subjects, activities
and words which can do nothing but harm.
Maybe the couple should have two
Alka Seltzer bottles or two ketchup bottles. Perhaps they should agree
not to watch the other discipline the children. Care should be taken to
find the things that are irritating. Ask each other. Be frank with each
other. Instead of scolding one another because of an idiosyncrasy and instead
of giving accusations of stubbornness, why not try to avoid the things
that irritate?
To be sure, there should be a constant
effort by both parties to correct the things that cause a problem, but
until that correction is complete, the irritants should be avoided. This
is what Abraham did.
Chapter 8 Treatment of Your Friends' Enemies
Let it be established first, however,
that kindness should be exerted to everybody, but let it also be established
that though we are not to defend ourselves when attacked, we are, however,
to defend our friends when they are attacked. This is to be done only in
defense of our friends.
1. You will not criticize my
friend in my presence. In fact, I will ask you not to be critical
at all in my presence, but I definitely will not remain with you if you
are criticizing my friend. I will ask you to cease the criticism, or I
will remove myself from your presence.
Several years ago I was sharing
a taxicab with a well known preacher who began to criticize my friend,
John R. Rice. Immediately I asked the taxi driver to stop, and in plain
words I defended my friend and warned his attacker.
I was prevailed upon in a southern
city to eat out after a service one night. The pastor, the other guest
speaker, the guest soloist, two of my friends and I were sitting around
the table when suddenly the singer spoke an unkind word about one of my
friends who was not present. Immediately I said, "That isn't so! You are
talking about my friend, and he isn't that kind of a person, and I will
not sit here and listen to you attack him!" I will not retaliate if you
attack me, but I will not allow you in my presence to attack those whom
I love.
2. I will not socialize with
the enemies of my friends. I will not be unkind to them as long as
they sheathe their swords, but I will not socialize with them. I will feed
them if they are hungry; I will clothe them if they are cold; I will put
shoes on their bare feet, but I will not socialize with them. I do not
require my friends to follow the same policy, nor do I ask my friends to
assume my enemies, but my in-evocable policy is to love those who are enemies
to my friends, to help them if they need help, but not to enter into a
social time with them.
For many years Dr. John Rice and
I traveled often together. We shared pulpits across America at least once
a month, sometimes twice a month, and on rare occasions three or four times
a month. I was his friend.
For a number of years we had preached
together at the same church. Then the time came when the pastor made an
attack against Dr. Rice. The pastor was a good man and his attack was not
vicious, but nevertheless, it was an attack. Dr. Rice was no longer welcome
to preach in his pulpit. Because of this, I refused to return to that church
when I was invited the next time. The pastor asked for my reason. I explained
to him that John Rice is my friend, and that if he did not choose to have
John Rice, I would still come; but when he chooses to attack John Rice
and then decide not to have him again, I would not come. I explained to
him that this policy would be in effect until such time when he would have
Dr. Rice and me come back together for a meeting. To the credit of that
good man, not many months passed until he realized what he should do. He
wrote me and told me that he would have Dr. Rice to return. Dr. Rice and
I did return to his church and preach together again. From that day until
the day that John Rice went to Heaven, he and this pastor were dear friends.
Now I never chose to fight this beloved pastor, nor did I explain to anyone
anywhere the position that I was taking. I certainly did not become his
enemy; I just simply could not preach in his pulpit until his attack against
my friend was withdrawn and reconciliation was sought. If, during this
time, this dear pastor would have had a need of which I knew, I would have
been among the first to come to his side, but I would not have socialized
with him because I wanted my friendship to be obvious to my friend.
Maybe Peter was right when he rose
to the defense of Jesus at the time of betrayal, and certainly Jesus was
right when he replaced the ear of his enemy.
Several years ago one of our parking
lot attendants was helping park cars in the church parking lot. It was
the evening of the Hammond Baptist High School commencement exercises.
A guest got out of his car and, while walking past the attendant, cursed
me. My parking lot attendant instinctively "decked" the man. Now I told
my friend that he shouldn't have done what he did, but under my breath
I couldn't help but smile a bit not because I wanted someone hurt, but
because I appreciated the zeal of my friend in defending his pastor, even
though his zeal was perhaps somewhat misguided.
Maybe Abishai was right when he
drew his sword in defense of his friend King David, and certainly David
was right when he told Abishai to sheathe his sword.
3. When both the attacker and
the attacked are my friends and I am theirs, I defend the accused. Jonathan
was certainly a loyal son to his father, King Saul. He was likewise a loyal
friend to David. When King Saul attacked David, Jonathan was not defending
David against Saul; he was defending the attacked. I have no doubt in my
mind but that had David attacked Saul, Jonathan would have defended Saul
as quickly as he defended David when Saul had attacked him.
I have many wonderful staff members,
and have had many wonderful people work for me through these 40 years of
pastoring. Occasionally, however, one of my staff members will become critical
of another staff member. I always defend the one who is the accused. I
do not know if the accused has done what the accuser said he did, so I
do not know of the innocence or guilt of the accused. However, I DO know
of the guilt of the accuser, because it is wrong to accuse.
I was preaching on the subject of
false accusations. During the message I reminded my people that if they
falsely accuse someone, they are doing the work of the Devil, because he
is a false accuser, when suddenly a truth hit me of which I had never thought
before! The Devil is not a false accuser; he is a true accuser! He accuses
me to God and tells Him of my weaknesses, and what he says is true. So,
when I enter into true accusation, I am wrong and I am entering into the
work of the evil one.
I was in a hotel room with two of
my preacher friends, both are well known, famous preachers. They asked
me if I had heard rumors about a certain preacher who also was well known
and famous. I immediately answered that I had not heard such rumors and
that I would not listen to them, and I defended the absent brother vigorously
To the credit of the two men who were being critical, they both apologized
and admitted that their words were unwise, and they vowed not to speak
them again.
I was in a certain city preaching.
As soon as the pastor and I got in the car to leave the airport, he began
to tell me of a friend who had gone astray. Before he could tell me what
had happened, I requested that he refrain from doing so. He insisted on
telling me. I asked him then to stop the car and let me out. I told him
that I was going to take the next plane right back to Chicago, and that
I was not going to listen to criticism of my friend.
Quite often when I am preaching
somewhere, a layman in the church will approach me about his pastor. Not
only do I defend the pastor, but I will not listen to the criticism.
In summary, I am not to fight my
enemy; I am to love him, pray for him, bless him and do good to him. I
will assume my friends' enemies, though I will not require them to do the
same to mine. If the accused is my friend and the accuser is my friend,
and I am the friend of both, I will defend the accused. I will not socialize
with enemies of my friends, though I will be unkind to no one.
Chapter 9 Treatment of Enemies (1)
A Sermon Preached on a Sunday Evening
at the First
Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana
Mark 8:27-33, "And Jesus went out,
and His disciples, into the towns of Caesarea Philippi: and by the way
He asked His disciples, saying unto them, Whom do men say that I am? And
they answered, John the Baptist: but some say, Elias; and others, One of
the prophets. And He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am? And Peter
answereth and saith unto Him, Thou art the Christ. And He charged them
that they should tell no man of Him. And He began to teach them, that the
Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders, and
of the chief priests, and scribes, and be killed, and after three days
rise again. And He spake that saying openly. And Peter took Him, and began
to rebuke Him. But when He had turned about and looked on His disciples,
He rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest
not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men."
Matthew 26:47-50, "And while He
yet spake, lo, Judas, one of the twelve, came, and with him a great multitude
with swords and staves, from the chief priests and elders of the people.
Now he that betrayed Him gave them a sign, saying, Whomsoever I shall kiss,
that same is He: hold Him fast. And forthwith he came to Jesus, and saith,
Hail, master; and kissed Him. And Jesus said unto him, Friend, wherefore
art thou come? Then came they, and laid hands on Jesus, and took Him."
To My Enemies of Forty Years
"And whosoever shall compel thee
to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from
him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. Ye have heard that it
hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But
I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to
them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute
you; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for
He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain
on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what
reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your
brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect."
(Matthew 5:41-48)
Tonight I want to speak on a very
unusual subject. I want to speak on the subject, "To My Enemies of Forty
Years." I want you to think of your enemies as I think of those people
who for forty years have come and gone and been enemies of this preacher.
"Our Heavenly Father, I pray tonight
You would help us to enter into New Testament Christianity. Help us to
be Christians in the New Testament sense. Give us, I pray, the attention
of all the people tonight. Amen."
Tonight I would like to address
a group of people that are scattered across many miles, people I'm sure
some of whom live in every state of the union. Tonight I would like to
address a group of people who are not only scattered across many miles
but across many years. Forty years as a preacher of the Gospel I have lived
with the awareness that some people hate me. I have lived with the awareness
that this hatred is nationwide and almost in every state of the union.
Tonight I would like to address those who are my enemies, not those who
are in this room. No preacher has more people who are kind and gracious
to him than I do! I do not feel at all that the people in this room need
what I am going to say, but I was in east Texas recently, and I got to
thinking while I was there for a couple of days about my young ministry
and I got to thinking about some of the people in east Texas who are my
enemies. As I flew into the Dallas-Fort Worth airport, I got to looking
down and thinking of people in the great Dallas-Fort Worth area who were
my enemies. Tonight I would like to address all of those people who for
forty years have been my enemies. Some will hear me from Heaven. Others
will hear me on tape as they hear this sermon played. Still others will
hear by word of mouth, and maybe perchance, there are some in this room
tonight.
What I will say tonight can be summarized
by these words: I thank God for my enemies! I thank God for those who for
all these years have been my enemies. No, I do not say that I enjoy having
enemies, and I think it is easier thanking God for my friends, and I do
thank God for my friends. No one has been blessed with as many close, dear
precious friends as this preacher. Nobody has ever pastored a church of
people who are more thoughtful than are the people of this church, and
no preacher ever hears the words, "I love you," or reads the words, "I
love you," more than I do. No preacher has a finer group of people.
Not only do I have many wonderful
friends in this church, but all over America and all over the world God
has given me a group of people who love me and who are my friends. Almost
everywhere I go people say, "Look at all that hair!" and words of affection
and "hurt." Almost everywhere I go, people walk up and say, "Show us your
muscle," and some even say, "Reverend Boopsie-Woopsie!" It is almost cultish.
I mean by that, there is almost a loyalty around the nation of literally
hundreds of thousands of people to this church. This church is the headquarters
of fundamentalism in America. I mean old-fashioned, Hell-fire and brimstone,
rock-rib, black-is-black, white-is-white, the Bible is the Word of God,
"Ye must be born again," separated- from-the-world fundamentalism! This
church is the headquarters of it in this nation. No doubt about it! People
look to us. I thank God tonight, not only for the dear friends that I have
here for whom and with whom I have labored these many years, but I thank
God tonight for that great legion of friends all over the nation and around
the world.
Tonight, however, I want to turn
from that crowd of loyal people who love me. I want to thank God tonight
for another group of people. I want to thank God for my enemies for these
forty years. I speak to you as a group, you in Heaven, and I think there
are a few of you who didn't quite make it! I thank God tonight for my enemies.
Now I speak to all of you, both to you who hear me from Heaven, to you
who hear me on tape and perchance to you who hear me in this room tonight,
though I do not know who you are.
At first you surprised me. I did
not know in those early days that you existed. I wasn't expecting you.
I'll be quite frank with you, when I entered the ministry I did not know
that preachers had enemies. I was a young man. I was naive. I remember
when the first of you came to me in east Texas, I did not know how to react.
I did not know the Scriptures, "Love your enemies, bless them that curse
you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully
use you." "Whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the
other also." "If any man take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also."
I did not know these Scriptures. I'll be quite frank with you. In those
early days I did not know the Scriptural way to react to you, my enemies.
I'm afraid in those early days I often fought you back, and I'm sorry.
I'm afraid in those early days I even preached against you from the pulpit,
and I'm sorry. I'm afraid in those early days I did not turn the other
cheek, and I'm sorry. I'm afraid in those early days I did not bless you
when you cursed me, and I'm sorry. I'm afraid in those early days I did
not love you when you hated me, and I'm sorry. I'm afraid in those early
days I did not pray for you when you despitefully used me, and I'm sorry.
The other day I was asked at a question
answer session, "Dr. Hyles, if you had your life to live over again, can
you think of any changes you'd make?"
I said quickly, "Yes, I can think
of one. If I had my life to live over again I'd like to take back some
of the things I said to my enemies many years ago. I would like to take
back some of the things I did to my enemies many years ago. If I had my
life to live over, I would like to live over some of those days when I
did not know that the Bible teaches me to love those that hate me, to do
good to those that do evil to me, to bless those that curse me, and to
pray for those that despitefully use me. If I had my life to live over,
I'd like to live over the early days of my ministry when I retaliated,
when I sought revenge. I was sincere; God knows that I was, but I did not
understand it, and so I'd like to say this tonight to my enemies of over
40 years of my ministry: I have not always enjoyed you, but tonight I thank
God for you.
Thank you for hating me, for had
you not hated me I could never have obeyed God's command to love those
that hate me. Thank you for cursing me, for had you not cursed me I could
not have obeyed the command of God to bless those that curse me. Thank
you for despitefully using me, for had you not despitefully used me, I
could not have prayed for those who despitefully use me. Thank you for
smiting me, my enemies, for had you not smitten me, I could not have turned
the other cheek. Thank you for taking my coat, for had you not taken my
coat I could not have heeded the admonition of the Scripture, "If any man
take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also." Thank you for making
me go a mile, for had you not forced me to go a mile, I could not have
gone two miles with you. May I say this. That is what I've done for 24
years. I have not always turned the other cheek, but I have for 24 years.
I have not always blessed those that curse me, but I have for 24 years.
I have not always loved those that hated me, but I have for 24 years. I
am not lying to you. I'd rather die now than lie behind the sacred desk.
I may sometimes tell you something that's not true, but not to my knowledge.
I would rather die tonight than to stand behind this pulpit and tell you
something that isn't true. I say this tonight with one hand on this Book
and my heart laid bare, for 24 years I have not had bitterness in my heart
toward anybody. For 24 years I have not hated anybody. For 24 years I have
tried to love those that hate me, I have prayed for those that despitefully
use me, and I have blessed those that curse me. I do not claim to have
apprehended. I do not claim even to be a good Christian, but I do say this:
On my face in a little hospital room in Dyer, Indiana, when our little
girl
Linda was at the brink of death,
I got on my knees and I promised God that I would love my enemies from
that day until this.
Tonight I want to thank my enemies.
I want to thank God for you because you have caused me to have the opportunity
to obey the command of my Lord in my relationship with you. I'm sorry that
before 24 years ago I often smote you back. I'm sorry that before 24 years
ago I maybe wanted to smite you back. I'm sorry for the six months of bitterness
I had toward you when I was about 30 years of age. In one of the darkest
hours of my life when I thought my ministry was gone, I became bitter,
and for six months of my life bitterness filled my soul when I was about
30 years of age. I apologize tonight to my enemies for allowing bitterness
to come into my heart, because if I'm bitter toward you, it is not you
who loses; it is I who lose! If I shoot you, the bullet boomerangs and
hits me also. I am sorry that on occasion when you hated me, I hated you.
I am sorry that on occasion when you wronged me, I wronged you. I am sorry
that on occasion when you did me evil, I did you evil back.
From the moment 24 years ago I knelt
in Dyer Mercy Hospital on the third floor of a little dark hospital room
and said, "Dear God, take this bitterness out of my heart," until this
moment, I have never harbored bitterness in my heart toward anybody, and
there is not a human who lives tonight, not a one, but if he stabs me in
the breast I'll take the knife and give it back to him and buy him a new
knife if he needs it. There is not a man in this world whom I wouldn't
feed tonight if he were hungry. There is not a person living tonight whom
I would not clothe if he were naked. There is not a person living tonight
whom I would not help if he needed help.
I'm simply saying tonight, thank
God for my enemies, for I would not have known to love you if I had not
had you. I could not have turned the other cheek had you not smitten one.
I could not have blessed you had you not cursed me. There is no preacher
alive who is criticized more than I am. I do not know why Maybe it's because
of the size of the church; I do not know why. I refuse tonight to live
with revenge in my heart. I refuse tonight to live with vengeance in my
soul. I refuse tonight to curse those that curse me and hate those that
hate me. I refuse! I cannot make you love me, but you cannot keep me from
loving you. I wish I could show you my heart. I often feel when I am preaching
around the country that I would like to take this little pocket knife which
I always carry (I'm a Switchblader from Hammond City Baptist High School)
and cut my heart open and let you see it. You would find a heart of love.
That's the truth. My sword is sheathed. My tongue is bridled. My guns are
stacked. My arsenal is empty. My quiver is bare.
I speak to my enemies all over the
world tonight. I cannot criticize you, and I will not knowingly hurt you.
If I had David's sword at the cave where thou art sleeping, I would not
smite thee. In these 24 years I have not allowed others to speak ill of
thee in my presence. I have not asked my friends to shun thee. I desire
my friends to be your friends, even though you are my enemy I do not say
that you are all bad because you are my enemies. No doubt I have on occasion
deserved you. Perhaps I have left the wrong impression at times, or perhaps
you did not totally understand. And though I have never wanted you to be
my enemy, I have always needed you. Without thee, I would not have known
God as well. You have allowed me to spend more time with Him and for us
to get to know each other better. You have taught me to love those that
hate me. Thank you for teaching me. You have taught me to pray for those
that despitefully use me. You have taught me to bless those that curse
me. Thank you for making it possible. I am grateful. Though I have not
totally been able to rejoice and be exceeding glad as I am commanded to
in the Scriptures, I am grateful, and I love you.
If you desire an enemy, you must
look elsewhere. If you desire a fight, I will not oblige you. If you hate
me, I will love you back, and you can't keep me from it! You curse me,
and I will bless you back, and you can't keep me from it. You take my coat,
and I'll give you my cloke, and you can't keep me from it. You smite me,
and I'll turn the other cheek, and you can't keep me from it.
You say, Preacher, how is this possible?
How is it possible for you to speak to hordes of enemies over 40 years
around the world and say to people that hate you, "I love you"? How could
you say to people that curse you, "I'll bless you"? How could you say to
people who despitefully use you, "I'll pray for you"? How could you say
to people who have smitten your cheek, "I'll turn the other cheek"? How
could you sheathe your sword and stack your arms and bridle your tongue
and empty your arsenal and bare your quiver? How could you do it?
This is how. You see, I once did
evil to a Man myself. I once took a hammer and drove nails into a Man's
hands. You have not done to me what I've done to a Man. I once said, "Crucify
Him! Crucify Him!" I once delivered Him to the hands of an angry mob. I
once placed the kiss of betrayal on His brow. I once stood and warmed my
feet by the fire and followed from afar as they took the lovely Lord away
to Calvary. I took the cat-o'-nine tails in my hand and beat His back beyond
recognition. I joined the crowd that said, "Release Barabbas! Release Barabbas!
Crucify Jesus! Crucify Him! Crucify Him!" My voice joined that crowd, and
my sin put Him naked at the mercy of the scourges. I held the coats of
those who nailed His hands and feet to the cross. I put nails in His hands.
I put nails in His feet. I put a crown of thorns on His brow. I put a spear
in His side. I mocked Him, treated Him as a mock king and put a sign over
Him that said, "THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS!" I did it, and while I did
it, He opened His mouth and said, "Father, forgive them; for they know
not what they do."
If He Who knew no sin could forgive
me who is sin, I can forgive you, my brother sinner. If He Whose feet never
walked a crooked path, Whose mind never had an evil thought, Whose hands
never did an evil deed, Whose heart never had an evil motive, Whose lips
never spoke an evil word, if He after I have crucified Him could say, "Father
forgive him, he knows not what he does," I do not understand to save my
life why those of us sinners saved by His grace have to harbor ill will
toward each other.
But He did more than that! He forgave
me, and He justified me! He pronounced me as if I had never sinned, and
though I was a part and parcel in crucifying Him, and though these hands
drove nails in His and though this tongue and this sin from body, life,
heart and mind put Him on the cross, not only did He forgive me, but when
I trusted Him, He erased from His judicial record in glory every sin I
ever committed!
"I'm justified! I'm happy in Jesus
today.
The sins I've committed, they're
all in the past;
They've all been forgiven, and He
holds me fast!
I'm justified! I'm justified!
I'm happy in Jesus today."
That isn't all He did! Not only
did He forgive me, and not only did He justify me, but He saved me! He
wrote my name in the Book of Life! He delivered me from the fires of Hell!
Tonight He is preparing a home in the Gloryland, where I can live forever,
not because I am righteous, for I am not! I am unrighteous! I'm a sinner
saved by His grace, forgiven by His love, justified by His justice, saved
by His mercy, redeemed by His blood, indwelt by His Spirit, led by His
Word, saved by His Son and headed for Heaven by His amazing grace! I didn't
deserve a bit of it! You are looking tonight at a man who deserves to go
to Hell. I am looking at thousands of folks tonight who deserve to bum
in Hell. I don't understand it. If He could forgive us after all we've
done to Him, then we ought to forgive each other for what mistakes others
have made toward us.
I always wanted to go to the Holy
Land. (Not many folks want to go now they're chicken!) I always wanted
to go to the place where they took His little body and wrapped it in swaddling
clothes and laid Him in a manger. I always wanted to go to the place where
He knelt and prayed on the mountain. I always wanted to go to the place
where He was baptized in Jordan. I always wanted to go to the place where
He turned the water into wine. I always wanted to go to the place where
He fed the 5,000. I always wanted to go to the place where He was tried
wrongly in Pilate's Hall. I always wanted to go to the place where He was
crucified--Calvary! I always wanted to see the empty tomb! (I did see,
and the tomb is empty!) I always wanted to go. I dreamed of going. Finally
one year we got to go. We went the first time with a Bob Jones tour. There
were about 23 of us, I think, on the tour. We stopped in Paris, but I wanted
to see Calvary. We stopped in Rome, but I wanted to see Calvary. We stopped
in Greece, but I wanted to see Calvary. We saw the Parthenon, but I wanted
to see Calvary. We saw Corinth, but I wanted to see Calvary. We saw the
Colosseum, but I wanted to see Calvary. We saw the catacombs, but I wanted
to see Calvary. We went to Egypt and saw the pyramids, but I wanted to
see Calvary. We saw the tombs of the kings, but I wanted to see Calvary.
We saw the museum of Egypt with King Tut's possessions displayed, but I
wanted to see Calvary. We saw the sphinx, but I wanted to see Calvary.
We went to the Promised Land. I walked one day where Jesus walked. We saw
the place where He was baptized, and I baptized several people in the Jordan
River while a crowd on the bank sang, "On Jordan's stormy banks I stand
and cast a wishful eye, to Canaan's fair and happy land where my possessions
lie." We went to the Sea of Galilee. We saw that hill where He preached
His sermon to the 5,000 and multiplied the loaves and fishes and fed them
miraculously. We saw the synagogue in Capernaum, where Peter attended when
he was growing up. We went to Bethlehem and sang, "0 little town of Bethlehem,
how still we see thee lie!"
Then one day we went to Calvary!
It is a little place. There is a bus station now at the bottom of that
little hill, but there was none there then. It is a hill that looks just
like a face. It is sort of an embankment. It is not very high. I do not
think it is as high as this auditorium. On top there is a cemetery. There
are layers of stone, and you can see two places that probably represent
sunken eyes and a place that looks like a mouth and the place above the
eyes that looks like the place of a skull. We knelt. I had always dreamed
of kneeling there.
I had sung as a child, "Years I
spent in vanity and pride, caring not my Lord was crucified, knowing not
it was for me He died on Calvary." I had sung, "On a hill far away, stood
an old rugged cross, the emblem of suffering and shame." I had sung, "At
the cross, at the cross, where I first saw the light, and the burden of
my heart rolled away," and finally I was there! I looked at Calvary, weeping
uncontrollably! People left, but I couldn't leave! I was there alone! All
of our crowd had gone back and gotten on the bus, but I couldn't go! That
is where it happened! That is where my sin debt was paid! That is where
my Saviour died! That's it! I began to sing and cry and cry and sing!
I can still see Dr. Bob Jones, Jr.,
coming back a little upset with me. He said, "Dr. Hyles, we've got to go!
Everyone is waiting on you!"
I said, "I can't go yet! I can't
go yet!"
I told that story once, and someone
asked me what I was thinking about as I looked at Calvary. This is what
I said: "I thought, 'If He could do that for me, I don't ever want to hate
anybody again as long as I live! I don't ever want to speak unkindly about
anybody as long as I live!' "
Ladies and gentlemen, you have enemies
like I have. There are those who would do you ill, and those who have and
will try to do you ill, but my Bible tells me to love them, and your Bible
tells you to love them. My Bible tells me to bless them, and your Bible
tells you to bless them. My Bible tells me to pray for them, and your Bible
tells you to pray for them.
I wish tonight every person in this
room could lie down to rest and sing, "Nothing between my soul and the
Saviour, naught of this world's delusive dream."
Chapter 10 Treatment of Enemies (2)
In an institution as complex in
its program as the fundamental New Testament church (which is composed
of frail humanity) it is almost impossible for one to escape the distasteful
position of having enemies. As we mingle within this little society within
a society called the New Testament church, most if not all of us will accrue
people who are our enemies. Though the sermon that you have just read covers
much of the information and method of dealing with such people, it is perhaps
wise that we enlarge at least somewhat upon it.
Romans 12:14, "Bless them which
persecute you: bless, and curse not."
Romans 12:17-21, "Recompense to
no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If
it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly
beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it
is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore
if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so
doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil,
but overcome evil with good."
Matthew 5:4347, "Ye have heard that
it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good
to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and
persecute you; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven:
for He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth
rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you,
what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute
your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans
so?"
I Corinthians 6:7, "Now therefore
there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another.
Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves
to be defrauded?"
From these and other passages we
arrive at the following conclusions:
1. We are to love those that
hate us. What a perfect example of this our Saviour left for
us! He has been scourged by the cat-o'nine-tails. His body has been beaten
beyond recognition. He has been wrongly tried. He has been nailed to a
cross. He has been the object of jeers, profanity, hatred, malice and unbelievable
persecution and suffering. He opens His mouth from the cross and what are
His first words? "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do."
What a tremendous example of loving those who hated Him! The Scriptures
plainly teach us that we are to be like Him.
I John 4:17, "Herein is our love
made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because
as He is, so are we in this world."
John 14:12, "Verily, verily, I say
unto you, He that believeth on Me, the works that I do shall he do also;
and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto My Father."
Philippians 2:5, "Let this mind
be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus."
John 20:21, "Then said Jesus to
them again, Peace be unto you: as My Father hath sent Me, even so send
I you."
In order to be like Him, we must
grow to the place in our Christian lives where we love those that hate
us. In other words, though we cannot avoid having enemies, we are to be
no man's enemy In other words, though people are offended toward us, we
are to be offended toward no one. The Psalmist tells us, "Great peace have
they which love Thy law: and nothing shall offend them." (Psalm 119:165)
2. We are not to retaliate. Romans
12:14, 17-21. Vengeance is the Lord's. He will care for that which is necessary.
However, the spiritual Christian will not want vengeance to be given to
his enemy unless the vengeance that God executes is for the enemy's good.
In other words, we should not want the enemy to suffer because he has made
us to suffer, unless that suffering can help him. At any rate, we are to
leave that vengeance in the hands of God.
3. We are to bless those that
curse us and do good to those who do evil to us. This admonishes us
to actively do good to those who are our enemies. In other words, deeds
and acts of kindness should be showered upon those who hate us. It may
be that such deeds and acts must be done anonymously, but nevertheless,
they should be done. We should never fight malice with malice. We should
not use the methods of the demons to fight the demons. Our weapons are
spiritual ones. We are to fight hatred with love, selfishness with unselfishness,
cursing with blessing, greed with generosity, unkindness with kindness,
criticism with prayer, and bad with good.
This author is far from perfect,
neither has he yet apprehended, but I can honestly say that for 24 years
I have not had bitterness in my heart toward any human being, and for those
24 years I have loved my enemies. The lesson I learned was a hard one and
a costly one. When I was pastoring in Garland, Texas, I was a young man,
and the growth of the church had perhaps exceeded my ability to handle
the situation properly.
There was a man in the church with
whom I shared some unkind words. Some were spoken from me to him and some
from him to me. I allowed a bad spirit toward him to enter into my heart
and mind. He left the church and, to be quite frank, we would not speak
to each other. Not long after that, I was called to pastor the First Baptist
Church of Hammond. For about three years it seemed that the church could
not get moving. Of course, I was not willing to admit the fact that at
least pail of the cause and blame should be laid at my feet because of
my feelings toward the aforementioned man. One morning we took our little
girl, Linda, who at the time was four years old, to the Mercy Hospital
in Dyer, Indiana, for what we thought would be a routine tonsillectomy
The tonsillectomy was performed, and I was sitting beside Linda in a hospital
room. The nurse assured me everything was all right. I was reading the
newspaper and suddenly I looked at Linda and saw her little head was in
a pool of blood. We did not know that she was a free bleeder, but obviously
she was. I rushed out of the room into the corridor of the hospital calling
for the nurse and the doctor. The nurse came quickly, saw her condition,
picked her little body up and ran down the hospital corridor, carrying
Linda to emergency surgery. As the nurse disappeared through the double
doors on which a sign had been placed which said, "No Admittance," I retreated
down the hallway of the hospital to find an empty room where I could pray.
I finally saw a room that was dark in which there were no patients. I went
to a bedside and knelt and began to pray for God to spare the life of our
little girl. The last words I heard the nurse say as she carried Linda
down the hallway were, "Call the doctor! She is dying! She is bleeding
to death! Call the doctor! Call Dr. Friedman!" With these words ringing
in my mind, I knelt to pray for Linda. Then I said to God, "Before I pray,
I want to be sure that You hear me and that You answer me, and I want you
to let me know if there is anything between You and me that would hinder
my prayers being answered." Suddenly I saw the face of that man in Texas
against whom I had ill will. I realized that there was something in my
heart that must be removed before Linda could be spared. I rushed out in
the hallway, grabbed a telephone to call the man. The operator told me
that he had moved. I called a friend of his to find his address and phone
number. For a long time in that hallway I frantically tried to find the
man so I could apologize, but my efforts failed. I returned to the room
to pray. Though I had not accomplished my mission of apologizing, the Lord
had removed bitterness from my heart, and I was sure that He would hear
me and answer me. Praise His name, Linda did live, and she is now a wife
and mother of two children.
I continued my search for the man.
I could not find him. Months later I was preaching in a small church in
east Texas. As I walked onto the platform, I looked and to my delight and
surprise, that man and his wife were sitting a few seats from me in front
of the pulpit. My heart began to beat faster, and I said to God, "If You
will let me live through this sermon, I promise You I'll go back and apologize
to that man and tell him I love him as soon as the sermon is over." I finished
the sermon and during the closing prayer I started back to the man's seat,
when suddenly I bumped into somebody I looked up and it was this deacon.
We met in the aisle, and while the closing prayer was still being prayed
I looked up and said two words. Now these are the hardest words I say.
For many years I have been preaching; in fact, I have preached over 45,000
sermons, and yet there is one little sermon of two words that is the hardest
for me to preach. Those two words are the words I knew I had to say to
this man, and so with the same awkwardness of a little child making his
first speech in school, I looked up through tears and said, "I'm sorry!"
He looked at me and said, "Pastor,
I'm sorry! It was my fault that we had the trouble!"
I said, "No, it was my fault."
He said, "No, Pastor, you were tired
and weary and I shouldn't have provoked you to say what you said."
"But," I said, "sir, I should not
have said what I said and I am sorry!"
He said, "Well, it was my fault,"
and I said, "No, it was my fault." He said, "It was my fault," and I said,
"No, it was my fault." And so we argued for awhile over whose fault it
was, as the Lord in Heaven smiled and saw two of His children making it
right with each other. That night I went back to my hotel room, took off
my shoes and got up on the bed and made a trampoline out of the bed and
jumped up and down most of the night and sang, "Nothing between my soul
and the Saviour, naught of this world's delusive dreams; I have renounced
all sinful pleasure, Jesus is mine, there's nothing between!"
From that moment until this moment
I have had many enemies, but I have never been an enemy I am commanded
by God to bless those that curse me, to pray for those that despitefully
use me, to do good to those who do evil to me, to love those who hate me.
4. I am not to attack, nor am
I to defend. A good motto for any Christian would be, "No attack;
no defense." By that I mean, I am not to attack my enemies. I am not to
return evil for evil. Then, when attacked by my enemies, I make no defense.
Now I will defend my Saviour, and I will defend others, but I will not
defend myself. I fight His battles; He fights my battles.
5. I am not to go to court with
a Christian brother or sister.I Corinthians 6:7, "Now therefore there
is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why
do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to
be defrauded?"
Psalm 119:165, "Great peace have
they which love Thy law: and nothing shall offend them."
Our churches and schools are plagued
by people who are easily offended. Each of us should constantly be on guard
against this deadly enemy of the church, the school, the Christian and
the Saviour.
6. Stay in the Word of God. Psalm
119:165 teaches us that there is a way that we can rise above being offended.
Notice the words, "Nothing shall offend them." Read the Word, memorize
the Word, love the Word, meditate upon the Word, live in the Word, and
victory can be had over this adversary.
7. Do not look at criticism as
being personal. Years ago I learned a little exercise that has
helped me tremendously I decided to look upon my critics as broken rather
than as bad. When my watch breaks, I do not fight back and throw it against
the wall. When my radio breaks, I do not become angry at it. I decided
that when people criticize me, it is not because they are bad; it is because
there is a broken part. This does not mean that they should be discarded
any more than the radio should be discarded. They need to be fixed. Then
I also realize that I too sometimes am broken.
8. Do not love because of the
object. Love should be caused by the condition of the heart
of the lover, not the attributes of the loved. God does not love us because
of what we are; He loves us because of what He is. May He help us to be
like Him in this respect.
Being human, it may be somewhat
difficult for us to love the unlovely as much as we love the lovely, and
the degree of our love may be determined by the degree of loveliness; however,
the presence of our love should not be so determined.
9. Do not want things or position. Most
of our hurt feelings are caused by disappointments in not receiving things,
acclaim or position that we want or crave. The less one wants the less
he will be offended. The more one wants for others, the less he will be
offended. The only real want or craving a Christian should have toward
others is an intense desire to help others. Remember, Christ has no alternative
but to love the unlovely, the unloving and often the unloved.
10. If your critic is your inferior,
allow that he has not been privileged to know what you know. Give him
some leeway.
I am a very criticized man, probably
one of the most criticized preachers of this generation. I try to allow
that a person can dislike me and still not be bad. We are so constructed
that a person can be mean to the rest of the world and good to us and we
think he is good, or he can be good to the rest of the world and mean to
us and we think he is bad. There are many people who have not had the teachings
that you and I have had. They do not even know the truths that we are now
sharing. No one criticizes a baby because he cannot ride a bicycle or a
child because he doesn't know trigonometry Why should we have our feelings
hurt by those who have not been privileged to learn not to be critical?
11. Do not have a lot of unplanned
fellowship. Do not just sit around and talk. Soon it will lead
to talking about people. Someone has said that great minds talk about ideas,
good minds talk about things, and weak minds talk about people. When planning
to get together with other Christians, plan the activities. Do not sit
idly and talk idly. There is a grave temptation to talk too much about
people. Maybe this talk is not bad, but once we idly talk, we are tempted
to talk about people, and once we start talking about people, we are tempted
to say bad things about them.
12. Do not retaliate to those
who try to offend you, who are unkind to you or who criticize you.
Memorize Psalm 119:165. Believe
it. Practice it and let nothing offend you.
Would you rather for two people
to hurt or one? Of course, the answer is that all of us would rather one
person hurt than two.
Would it matter who these two people
were? Why initially we would answer the question, "No, it doesn't matter
who they are. I would rather for only one person to hurt than two."
The next question comes, what if
one of those two people is you? Then, will it matter? In other words, would
you rather only one to hurt or two to hurt if you are the one that is hurt,
or would you rather someone else hurt because you hurt?
Now ask yourself this next question,
would it matter how the other person felt about you? In other words, if
you are hurting because another person has hurt you and that other person
hates you, would you still rather one person to hurt than two? When our
answer to this question can become "Yes," then we are approaching what
Christianity is all about and the type of life that God's people are supposed
to live. Probably the Ph.D. of Christianity is earned when a person can
treat his enemies as Jesus treated His. Perhaps the most difficult and
last step of Christian maturity is when the Christian learns to love those
who hate him, pray for those who despitefully use him, bless those who
curse him and do good to those who do evil to him.
Someone very dear to me who had
been my friend for years launched a brief but fierce attack my way. I could
not believe he did it. When I realized he did, I could not believe he meant
to do me harm. Through tears I wrote these words:
Let's Both Forgive!
You did not mean to loose the bow
That launched the arrow toward
my breast;
Nor did you plan to shake the limb
That so disturbed my downy nest.
'Twas not your will to hurl the
stones
That hailed upon me like a storm;
'Twas not your quill that penned
the darts
That railed upon my inner form.
You did not make the venom that
Your tongue so quickly shot my
way;
Nor did you mean to loosen all
The fiery snakes I fled today.
You did not weigh the giant stone
Hewn by the words you spoke to
me.
'Twould not be there had you but
known
The load with which I came to thee.
I know, for I have hurled some stones,
I vainly tried to have returned.
My quiver's empty far too oft;
My fiery darts too much have burned.
I own some venom and a bow
Which oft unite in deadly flight
To far exceed in damage done
The arrow's wound and serpent's
bite.
I know the empty victor's guilt
When kneeling o'er my fallen prey.
I've held the sword when blood
was spilt,
While joys of winning fled away.
So may I love you when you hate,
And may I bless you when you curse.
I cannot now retaliate,
For yesterday 'twas in reverse.
May I return an answer soft
To turn away thy hasty wrath;
For I have tasted far too oft
The bitter herb my friend now hath.
Six critical letters came in one
day's mail, five of the letters criticizing someone else! I find myself
having a difficult time believing that God's people can be so critical
of each other. Spontaneously I shouted while alone in my study, "Could
we not love each other?" I then used the following words to plead with
fellow Christians to love our brothers and sisters in Christ:
Could We Not Love Each Other?
Could we not love each other?
The place prepared for me
Is near the one for thee.
Hence, neighbors we will be.
Come! Be my brother.
Could we not love each other?
The Hand that gives thee bread
Is the One that keeps me fed.
Let harsh words be unsaid.
You are my brother.
Could we not love each other?
The load your heart doth bear
Is one that we could share.
We both dwell 'neath His care,
Beloved brother.
Could we not love each other?
I have stood in your place,
And you my path oft traced,
So let us offer grace
Befitting brothers.
Could we not love each other?
The One Who died for you
Is my dear Saviour too.
Is it too much to do
To love our brother?
Could we not love each other?
That selfsame throne of grace
Where thou dost seek His face
Is my abiding place
Beside you, brother.
Could we not love each other?
The letter was filled with hatred,
insults and satire. It was from one who admitted hatred for me. I called
him on the telephone to seek conciliation. This attempt simply turned written
words to spoken ones. All efforts for a Christian understanding failed
and he hung up the phone. I wrote the following words and mailed them to
him.
You Are My Enemy
You are my enemy
So I must love you more
Than those who love me most,
And, who, upon me pour
The best of friendship's wine.
I must not taste the sour grape
From vindication's vine.
You are my enemy
'Twill not be always so;
For I will drown thy hate
Within the loving flow
Of calm, forgiving seas;
And use thy saber's sharpest blows
To knock me to my knees.
You are my enemy
I must take care to bless
Thee through thy cursings oft!
And hold within my breast
That restless, unkind word;
For I must keep in hidden sheath
Retaliation's sword.
You are my enemy
I cannot quench the scorn
That you have rushed my way;
Yet something hath been born,
Begotten from above;
No shield you hold can deftly block
The arrows of my love.
You are my enemy
And so I more must pray
For God to do thee good,
And take my spite away;
And warm the biting chill
That cometh to the both of us
Should I but do thee ill.
One day, upon hearing of an attack
on me and my ministry, I was tempted to retaliate and to steal from the
Lord His work of vengeance. I began to think, however, of the times when
I had been critical and unkind. Hence, I could not retaliate. Rather than
give vengeance, I must offer compassion, love, and understanding. The following
stanzas came to my mind:
A Familiar Stone
I once retrieved an angry stone,
Still warm from resting in thine
hand,
To boomerang it back to thee,
As vengeful reprimand.
I took retaliatory aim
To even up the score;
Then saw the rock
I grimly held,
Was one I'd seen before.
Oh, my! It had my fingerprint!
Beloved, could it be . . .
That this same stone that came
my way,
Was one I hurled at thee?
Hence, I'll not aim its point thy
way,
Nor hurl it back to thee;
I'll bury it and ask our God
To forgive both thee and me.
